The Richardson Ride

Needy

2011-11-27T21:46:00.001-06:00

The past few weeks have brought about much heartache to people that we love. It is hard to be here in Panama, while there are troubles at "home." We wish that we could be there to "fix" things and be helpful. You feel so out of the loop and "of no use" being away. It is hard to comfort people through Skype. Recently loved ones here in Panama suffered heartache as well. It was just as painful even as we are here with them. It is a painful reminder for me of our need for a Savior. I feel like I should be able to fix things. It is the same part in me that believes I should be able to earn my salvation. Surely I can do better than most and look at all the good things that I do. As Paul says it is all rubbish. I need more than what I can do. I need Jesus, and I am thankful for daily reminders of that, even as it is humbling and goes against our culture. We can't fix things and we can't bring the comfort that only comes with the hope of eternity! In the men's bible study that I have been able to participate in, we have been studying Phillipians. We were examining what stirs us and fires us up for Jesus? Think about that, and why we don't spend more time pursuing those things that make us want to pursue our Lord more. For me, I really enjoy being challenged by great preaching. I also enjoy great discussion about life and challenges in our faith (preferably over food!) I also love loud passionate corporate worship, especially with drums as that is how I imagine heaven. What is it for you? We live a lot of lives with fears of what will happen with our future. We fear something happening to our spouse or our children. We fear the loss of loved ones and dreams and expectations that we put on ourselves not being met. Sometimes it is just the pain of a living in difficult times. It is heartbreaking to see people experiencing our own fears. I am thankful that these pains and turmoils are temporary and that we do have Hope in eternity. Thank you that you give us glimpses of heaven here, and I will choose to be thankful even in the pain that we have here. I pray that the God will continue to give me greater compassion for those that are troubled, and to give me wisdom in how to act. I also pray that I continue to find my hope in Jesus and the grace and mercy he has shown me, and not rely on my own actions. I need Jesus, and I realize that more and more everyday.

BLOOM 2011, beauty for ashes

2011-10-03T21:36:00.000-05:00

I am not one to turn down an opportunity to get to know other women! 2 years ago, upon arriving in Panama, the church we are associated with, Crossroads Bible Church was having their annual women's retreat. It was just 6 weeks after we arrived, but a night away, a hotel room, and new friends...sounded like a plan to me!

I will mention that the room was beyond freezing and I slept fully clothed with my rain coat on hood included....not the full night of sleeping I was planning after our big move! BUT....

I did eat some Panamanian food, sang songs in English and Spanish, heard some new speakers, and made some new friends and of course I bought some jewelry they were selling made by some inmates from the women's prison ministry.

I struck up a conversation with the lady running the booth of jewelry and ended up telling her our story of coming to Panama and somehow the part of my life where I ran my own business as a professional organizer came into the conversation.

Mrs. Charlotte said to me, "You should talk to the Crossroad's Women's Committee and maybe you can help do some organizing for future events." My first thought was, "Ummm, no thank you!"

Little did I know that I, along with 3 of some of my most favorite women in Panama, would indeed be planning the entire women's retreat for 2011!

We are 3 weeks away from the big event! BLOOM 2011, Beauty for Ashes

Each of our hearts and minds were exploding as we discussed the theme and vision of Bloom, 2011. Our burning desire was the same: to live in the FULLNESS OF CHRIST. We want to experience the vastness of who Christ is and what He has and can do in our lives. Each woman is on a journey, and we want to "Bloom" into who Christ has created us to be….regardless of our pain and suffering, regardless of the hard and desert places in life, and because of these things. We want to rise above and Bloom.

Planning an event for over 200 women, lodging, food, topic, music, media, etc can be overwhelming, add that in another language and a culture that is happy to disregard contracts and you have 4 hard working women! We 3 weeks out and just changed our location in the last 36 hours! CRAZY! Good thing I do crazy well!

Please pray for us on Oct 21st and 22nd as we Bloom together! You can pray for our speaker, the great Nancy Holcomb, my mom!! No pressure Mom!!!! I am super excited to have my grandmother there too! We will have 4 generations attending the retreat!! Such a blessing!

Check out our video in the post just before this one! Jess, Abby and Lisa are my fellow bloomers!!

Bloom 2011 Video

2011-10-03T21:29:00.002-05:00

Crossroads Bible Church Women's Retreat Promo Video

Love this Women!!!

Bloom, 2011

Video of Senior Retreat

2011-09-21T20:32:00.000-05:00

Retreat!

2011-09-08T22:05:00.000-05:00

We have been rolling along at a pretty good rate these days in Panama. One of the things that we had been working on was planning a retreat that took place this past weekend. For some time, we had wanted to initiate a Senior Retreat to start the graduating class on the right steps for their final year at CCA. There were a number of goals for the weekend, which we felt a lot of them were accomplished. All 15 seniors participated. We had team building games, time of worship, silly games, goal setting, prayer, and challenges. Clare and I put a lot of time planning and making the weekend go. It was such a success due to so many people praying for these seniors by name on multiple occasions. We Had 8 leaders give up their weekend and love on these kids. Their goal was for the students to not see them in a teacher role, but as an adult that cares and loves them. There was times of students asking teachers questions and leaders sharing what they were going through and what they were like as seniors. We were not sure as what to expect from the seniors as they have not been a unified group, but we were blown away by their response. They spent the whole weekend together, with no pairing off or having to coax them into talking or discussing. They were completely content being with each other including an hour of going around telling each other what they loved about them. We had so many things prepared in case there was not a lot of talking that we did not have to use. The real highlight was a new senior, Nick, coming to know the Lord. Awesome! His wish is that this would not be a phase for him. Please pray for him that he continues to seek the Lord and for him to understand that though he will have his struggles, that does not mean he is not a child of God. We pray that this weekend is just the beginning and a door opening to pour more into and be able to speak into the lives of these students. Clare and I hope that this will allow us to have more of them in our home to play games and dialogue about the decisions they are facing. It is very rewarding to kick something off that goes so well, and hope it becomes a tradition that the students look forward to. There are so many things to share, but I don't think I could cover it all so I will end it with an email from a parent:"I would like to express my deepest and heartfelt gratitude to everyone involved with the organization, planning and execution of the Senior Retreat. As a parent desiring to see the awakening of the hearts of our children to the love of Christ, I was thrilled to have my child participate. However, I was even more moved to hear her feedback of the time together. I would like to express a very special "bless you" to Nathan and Clare Richardson for the idea and bringing it to fruition. To Ann Marklund, you have marked (no pun intended) the heart of my daughter with your prophetic prayer over her. To the Cottons for the use of the mission base and the awesome muffins for breakfast (which I must have the recipe for). And to those who chaperoned as well as shared their own lives with these young people. I trust that the seeds planted and nurtured in each heart those twenty-four hours will take deep roots and blossom into much fruit. Please make this an annual tradition for Crossroads Christian Academy."God is doing great things here in Panama and we are privileged to see some of it first hand. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!

Just the Beginning...

2011-08-22T11:37:00.004-05:00

We are thrilled about start to our 3rd year in Panama. We have some awesome new families and single girls that have joined the staff. I wanted to share some pictures from our first month back!

This picture was a last minute decision on the Richardsons part to join all the new staff and a few more adventurers on a night away from the City. We took a boat ride to Isla Grande on the Caribbean side of Panama after a 2 hour car drive through some of the more rural parts as well as some lush farmland with the healthiest looking cows we have seen in this country! I think we had 2 boat fulls in total (this boat also included everyone's luggage and those who know Clare well should know that she did not care if the boat capsized she was still bringing her own sheets and gluten free snacks!) This was a sweet time of fellowship and bonding! We are super thankful for all the people the Lord has brought into our lives...new and old!

Cannot believe we have 2 kiddos in school! Essie just started her first year in K4 and Ro is in K5. They are super eager little students, laying their clothes out each night and making sure homework papers are done as soon as they walk in the door....hope that doesn't change, but we aren't so sure! It has taken about 2 weeks for Essie's little personality to come out in her class. We warned her teacher that she was a bit more dramatic/passionate than her older sister...and we got a little note from her teacher reading, "The real Essie is starting to come out!" We asked Ro's teacher how K5 was going and she said, "Great....if everyone was like Ro!" Such fun watching them walk to the busito and ride off with their daddy each morning! Grateful for their adaptive little personalities and their love for one another!

We were running behind the first day of school because Field quickly realized he did not have a lunch box or a book bag and those things had to be packed...and with the appropriate materials! He threw up in the 5 min car ride home from school after dropping the girls off. I had been so excited to go home and enjoy spending time with him and a graduated CCA student spending the day with us. I just told our friend, "Welcome to motherhood! It is never dull! And never expected!"

This is Essie's Class on a field trip the first week to see a dinosaur exhibit. Field and I were excited we got to go because we were the Bus Drivers! They were all giving me their best roar!

Field missed his sisters and daddy for about a day and settled quickly into being the man of the house...he has been and absolute joy to be with. He gets up and gets dressed just like the girls and puts on his "soccer shoes" at 6:30, rarely to be taken off all day! He gets out his cars and animals and blocks and plays contently most of the day. He has been very compassionate with his pregnant momma, he snacks the day away with me and is happy to watch a video so mommy can rest! Couldn't ask for a better buddy! I am grateful for this sweet 6 months I have with him before the twins come!

Hope each of you has had an excellent start to the school year! We are thrilled about all the Lord is doing in our lives, the lives of our children, our friends both here and far, and in Panama! Much love to all!

Email Received

2011-08-17T10:16:00.003-05:00

Below is a note, that I received last spring that I wanted to share. It was a huge encouragement to me in that the community is taking note of the difference in our students. That is a huge mission field for us as a school and a prayer of mine, that the community sees a difference in us in how we handle ourselves. If it is not noticeable than we are no different and we lose our testimony. It is our chance to witness to other schools and the community in Panama. This is also why I am so thankful for coaches that love on our players and speak into their lives.

Nathan,

I'm writing in great appreciation of the work I see you doing with the sports program at CCA. I've worked and coached at ISP for two years now and whether you remember me or not is not important. I leave Panama for good in three weeks and I felt I needed to write in applause of a program that I think is being run the right way. I fully applaud you, your staff, and your kids in the collective approach that CCA makes in sports.

Our JV team played your JV team this past Monday. I'm embarrassed to say that we won something like 9-1. If anything, I'd like to apologize. But what I did say to my kids at halftime was to take a look around. I wanted them to take note of our opposition. Your kids weren't complaining, asking to give-up, imploding, losing their cool, or otherwise embarrassing themselves on the pitch. I don't know that my team reacts in the same professional manner when the shoe is on the other foot. Luckily, this "learning moment" allowed a number of my kids, not all, to learn something about sportsmanship. It's one step at a time, and this definitely helped me teach something valuable.

I hope for this letter to validate the work of you and your kids. Sports, particularly youth sports, are meant to teach ethics, teamwork, camaraderie, and fair play. Winning gives us a reason to play. Unfortunately the winning is all too often what sports are about, here in Panama, in the US, and around the globe. I'm impressed to say that your program, at least in my humble assessment, values all that which are important. Your kids are headed for a bright future with the lessons you've taught.

Start of Year!

2011-08-05T20:47:00.002-05:00

Well, we have gotten going again here down @ CCA! We are 2 half days into the year and it was great to see students again! It was even greater seeing both my girls with me at school! I cant describe how fun it is to se them at different times as they are out on the playground and they give me this little wave. Essie has been so excited about going to school, I can't wait to watch her bloom this year. Ro is getting right back in the swing of things and is a joy for her teachers. Both of them were so excited about the second day that they woke up at 5:45 and got themselves dressed including shoes and finished packing their lunches. All Clare and I had to do was breakfast and hair. We can dream that continues! Field continues to be a blast and makes us laugh constantly! Every day he wants to "Go Play Soccer!"

Basketball season starts up next week! As always things roll a little slow down here in Panama. I am waiting to hear from a few courts about us being able to rent. I am also still recruiting coaches to work with our teams. Thankfully the older teams are set, but still need some coaches for the younger teams. Please pray that the right people will be able to work with our kids and have a great season of loving and coaching these kids.

I am very excited about starting a men's bible study this fall. There has not been anything in this community for men. I have gotten great response from a number of guys. We are going to use the video series by Matt Chandler on Phillipians. I hope it will be a great time of fellowship and sharpening. I pray that we bond as a group of men that love the lord and want to lead this community well.

I was able to lead devotions for the staff the other morning and I shared from Phillipians as I have been reading it in preparation of the bible study. I was sharing how we as a staff needed to come together as a team and accept the different gifts and abilities that each other have. It is important to encourage each other in our strengths as that is the way God designed us. I find myself too many times wanting people to think, respond, and communicate the way that I believe they should. I need to remember to celebrate the individual that God is using for his purpose to His glory. Phillipians 2:3-11 gave me a big lesson on how to interact with others and a great example in our Saviour.

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. have this mind among yourselves , which is yours in Christ Jesus who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient tot he point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

A Slice or a Punch

2011-05-09T10:53:00.002-05:00

Hello Blog Friends!

It is safe to say that I have not kept up with blogging this semester! Nathan and I wish very much to do so, but it has proven very difficult. I do have something I wanted to share with you. I wrote this letter to my family last week and wanted to share it with you too! For those of you who do not know, I lost my handicapped brother Jay almost 12 years ago. I was 18 and he was days from his 14th bday and this is a vision I had of him and of the Lord last week. It was such a sweet gift to me, the vision and the gift of the Holy Spirit!

I love you all and PROMISE there are blogs to come!!

"Thoughts, Visions and Dreams...

Up on my desk I have a picture of Jay. The one where he is grinning from ear to ear, the smile that was kinda forced yet the only way he really smiled. It is perfect in every way. It is not the one with the blue shirt on (which I had on my mirror for years and it disappeared. Somebody needs to fess up,) but the one with the white shirt with the huge round glasses!

I love gazing on it and even as it has been almost 12 years since Jay was a part of our daily interaction I think that it is safe to say that he is still a part of some slice of my day. Maybe its a handicapped parking spot, or somebody giving me a thumbs up, or the random waif of dried slobber from his thumbs, or kissing my kids after they are asleep and seeing one snagging a corner of their siblings pillow with their head just as Jay always did, sometimes its finding a random white sock that looked like Jay's little socks (some I have may have been his,) or a penny laying on the ground and I need to pick it up just because, maybe its the sound of bball in the background or just a glance at the few momentous I have around.

Some days the memories are a lot bigger than slices they are punches to the gut or a pie to the face, the ones where you loose your train of thought and get an immediate swell in your throat feeling like you are going to chock and if no one is around you can loose it or if others are you hold back because it is just not the time to go there, they wouldn't know how to respond and quite frankly it wouldn't have the affect you wanted...how could they know, it would be unfair to dump that one out into the thin air! Sometimes I don't have the emotional energy to go there. Its just to hard...yet it is always so sweet.

So tonight was one of those nights, THE PUNCH. This is not something you plan for, it just happens and I just had to tell yall about it...too sweet to keep to myself.

We are doing a study with our small group by Mark Virkler, How to hear God's Voice. It is way different than anything I have ever studied and honestly blown my mind and my heart way off this planet. Some of it can be a little hard to understand, but I have tracked with it...mostly. The Bible is full of verses about the Holy Spirit, verses I some how seemed to skip over or not really notice until this past year, maybe year and half. The Lord has taught me so much about himself and about who I am in Him and Him in me, some things I have known, some maybe not, but mostly things I have known but not really FELT. I think it safe to announce that I am not much of a "feeler." I think I am but due to maybe my birth order and the circumstances that surrounded our lives as we knew them I became a "stuffer," into a rather large container bc it rarely filled over or poured out. That is all another story that I look forward to sharing with yall some day, in light of all the Lord has been revealing to me and speaking to me.

So back to the study. We quiet ourselves before the Lord. Focus on Him. Tune to flow (words from the Lord, pictures in our heads, etc). Journal. That is the sequence of what we are learning and I was blown away by the fact that I have always had the Lord speaking to me I just rarely recognized it for that. The visions and dreams as well. I just wasn't focusing on Him and then seeing all that he had to tell me, show me, love me, etc. This has come quite easily for me and is an amazing tool I am looking forward to learning and knowing at 30!

Tonight we watched the video about Visions and Dreams. (Before we started the video we sang a song about the Resurrection and one of the lines I wrote down in my journal.) He talked and read from Daniel. He facilitated a time to focus on the Lord and to see what the Lord had to say or show us. Part of his facilitating was describing a place around the Sea of Galilee. He explained a place I was already picturing, I love it when that happens. Then he began to describe a scene from the Bible about feeding of the thousands and then the healing of a paralyzed man.

Immediately the gut punch came and I wanted the vision to stop. Not really wanting to go there in front of all the small group. But I felt the Lord prompting me to keep looking. I did and as he began to speak I could see these knobby bony knees of a 14 year old little boy burst forth, like an egg shell blowing itself out or a butterfly coming out of a shell at a rapid rate, and out came these muscular running type thighs, tan I might add, not too hairy in case you were wondering. It all happened so fast. The boys arms just pushed up from his wheelchair and it all just happened. And then I realized it was Jay.

Rewind to the lady who did the painting of Jay for the YL Urban Center and we all voted to have the picture of him done with him in his wheelchair not standing. Don't think I, maybe we, were ready to visualize OUR Jay any different that how we knew and loved him. Any dream I have had of Jay has been chest up or with him on my back since his death until tonight.

I stayed with the vision from the screen rolling in my head and it continued on a grassy knoll with Jesus and me and Jay sitting beside Jesus, but from where I was he was behind Jesus. This is were I opened my Journal and began to journal what the Lord was saying to me.

At the top of my page was "I STAND IN HIM COMPLETE." I had written it before any of this even started tonight. Yet it was totally planned. It was centered and in all caps too.

It was at this point that I realized that I had not let myself imagine Jay physically any different than how I had known him, I was limiting all that God could make straight. It couldn't have been a sweeter moment to see my brother as HE IS, COMPLETE. It was only in my mind's eye, but the question I was asking the Lord before any of this began was, "Lord, how do you want me to use eyes of my heart?" Anything I was imagining before was from the eye of my mind, but not of my heart. I could not have imagined this without the Holy Spirit.

By showing me Jay's completeness the Lord wanted to show me my own, what He has done for me, what He can continue to do. He wants to commune with me on the kind of level and wholeness that He does with Jay and Granny and Grand Chubby. Jay was just sitting behind Him looking at me like, "I have been waiting for you to figure this out. It is that simple." He had a gentle smirk on his face as he listened to what Jesus was telling me. This kind of wholeness only comes from knowing Jesus, looking at Him, asking Him, letting Him make me FULL and just desiring and being in His presence.

Other random details in case you wanted to know: he had the build of a runner, not a skinny runner, but a muscular one, he was around 25-26, a man indeed, Sam, you are a bit taller, but your butt is still bigger! He had a head full of thick brown hair, not curly, but fluffy. He looked just like how I would imagine him, good looking (like his brothers and dad,) genuine, full of happiness, totally content yet eager. He had on a blue t-shirt (not collared) and khakis! (He must of put some pants on after busting out of his old legs!)

Too amazing not to share with yall and sooo easy to see. Such a blessing to have FULL access to the Holy Spirit. It is our gift from the Lord, a promise of what we have to look forward to for all of eternity with Him, and with all those who have gone before us and who are STANDING IN HIM COMPLETE!

Love each of you more than I could ever express!! Praying that the Lord is speaking to each of you and that you are in a place where you are focusing and listening to all that He has to tell you. Just ask, Just look, He is certainly there!

My new favorite song is by Brett Dennon, Dancing at a Funeral. "Now is not the time to be so sad and mournful.We are going to this funeral and we'll be dancing the night away. So don't be so shy, we are living and we are dying, we are laughing and we're crying, every single day..." Looking forward to all dancing (standing) complete in who we are....ONE DAY!

LOVE,

Clare....hope you are not gut punched...maybe just a slice to add to your JAY DAY!"

A Few Pictures from the last couple of weeks!

2010-11-10T12:43:00.005-06:00

We have had a crazy Fall...I am sure everyone has had equally crazy lives. Why do we ever think that it will be any different just because a season changes?

(The season doesn't actually change here, but we do like to put out a little orange, ok we have orange year round bc it is to me what red is to some of you, I like punches of it around my house! So we already have the orange going, but we have some fall smelling candles and were able to get our hands on a pumpkin too! So the weather may not be changing cooler (rainy to rainier and hot to hotter) but none the less it is Fall to us!)

We are working on our newsletter, soon to be ready to print and mail. It will give lots more info that we have failed to share with you and hopefully you will see how are roles here change back and forth lots leaving us little time in between!

Here are a few pictures from the last couple of weeks around here!

The 3 Amigos, as we call them, ready for Sunday afternoon community basketball pick up games with Daddy!

Some of the JV girls playing a little defense!

Silly picture with JV and Varsity girls!

More of my favorite people...Field saying "cheeeeeeese!"

These little guys frequent our backyard, "gato solos" (lone cat) they too have discovered the garbage cans and are taking advantage of the lack of garbage pick-up around here. They come in a family pack of about 12, some babies to. I am happy to watch them from the indoors!

Basketball Banquet getting started. It was the first annual BBall Banquet. Nathan and I were a great team putting it on with the help of lots of others making it happen. It was a great night!

The BBall Girls and Coaches all dressed up!

Sub 16 Boys Team. They have been busy playing in the National Tournament this week! Nathan is a game day coach for these guys!

Circled up at Nathan's request for Family Blessing before we devoured some amazing food!

The table Decorations!

Nathan does not thing this I should document that I made him wear a 25 year old sailor suit that was entirely to short for him. I thought he looked adorable, a little short, but adorable.

He wore it to church and got plenty of comments about him looking like a wrestler!

Field again being a mess. He loves a steering wheel. Makes us super nervous considering our van is a stick and he could kick the emergency brake easily!

One more to document a day in the life of Field Richardson.

We are grateful for all of you as you are each a blessing in our lives. Praying for all of us to see the blessings we each have even in the midst of our craziness!!!

Much Love,

Clare

Home Again, Home Again.....

2010-08-08T22:31:00.000-05:00

I wish I was better and more prompt with this blog, with our newsletter, with thank you notes, with emails! There are so many differnt ways to communicate it is mind blowing!

We are back to Panama! Feels like home here. We were sad to say goodbye to friends and family but so grateful it was a rich summer full of seeing and catching up with so many people we love and love us!

We came home to quite the chaos. Our hot water heater busted and flooded our storage/laundry room, living and dining room 2 days before got home.

Thankfully nothing was ruined and it was soaked up before we walked in.

The blessing is we now have a gas heater which is installed outside and gives me more storage space! The frustrating part is we went almost a week wo hot water and we are still figuring out how it works and I am going to have get the floor fixed...the hole dates back to atleast 4 floors ago!

Our internet was blown out while we were in the states and we have been here 2 weeks without internet. We CANNOT get them to come out here, we have exhausted all options except stalking and dangleing money in front of the Cable and Wireless men, oh wait...I have done that all week and still CANNOT get them here! I am actually updating the blog from a phone! So excuse any of my grammer and spelling mistakes!

Our van was rented out this summer to a few missions groups and let's just say it was returned to us in less than steller shape which was super discouraging. The van belongs to the Lord, but we still want to be a good stewads of what we have and want others to do so as well! It continues to bless us and others as we have been loading in teachers since we made it home! I admit I enjoy driving a stick shift and a tanker van!

The new teachers and director for CCA are awesome! We have had a great start to the school year!

Friday nite we had a building dinner. Our building, full of teachers, came and grilled out at our place and stayed up late ringing in the "school" year!

Ro started school this week too. She is in K4! She was more than adorable on her first day. She had a sheepish grin on her face, half nervous but mostly eager! I asked her how was her first day of school...ever....and she replied, "fine!" I thoguht that started in middle school, not K4, I should have a few more details than this! I finally got some out of her and heard some from the teachers (the elementary PE coach said she was the leader in her class...yeah!)

Basketball season is upon us! Nathan is busy coordinating coaches, reserving gyms around the area and recruiting kiddos to play! We are really excited about the athletic program this year especially knowing a little more what to expect from kids, parents and the community!

I am going to be coaching the sub 18 and sub 15 girls. They have all been asking and making sure I was still gonna coach!

God has been good to us! We are full of blessings and full of gratitude! Essie and I are learning some verses since she has been paling around with me this week! She was repeating Psalm 103 w me and she could not have been more filled with the Spirit! She was raising her arms and raising her voice and uplifting my heart!

"Bless the LORD!!!"
Oooohhh My Soooouuulll!"
And let ALLLL that is within MEEE, BLESS His Holy NAAAMMME!"

(She kept going about 15 times through the verse!)

What a great verse for all of us who are in the throws of life, that we would bless the Lord with ALL that is within us. Psalm 103 is a precious Psalm reminding me of the satifaction that comes from being a child of the most High King, the Healer, the Reedemer, the Forgiver...the Renewer of my youth!

I hope you all find the time this week to Bless the Lord! It is so satisfying!

Abounded and Abounding in His Mercy,
Clare (for the crew)

Lady Eagles...#2!

2010-06-04T15:10:00.007-05:00

Watching the CCA Boys play!

Cutting practice short to watch the boys play again!

A little half time speech....the refs really only gave me half my time to speak...but that is Panama for you. "Do whatever feels rt!"

The CCA Lady Eagles got 2nd place! The National Stadium was amazing. I have never played on a nicer field or a larger field. My girls played amazing. We dominated the game but could not set-up for goals where as the other team made every goal they set up. There is always next year. The 5-1 final score does not measure how well we played, its not that they played better, they just scored better!!!

I have had to ask for forgiveness to Nathan this year as I have coached Basketball and Soccer this year as I had no idea how important it is to de brief after a game. I never had to do this as a player, but as a coach...you do! All those years Nathan was coaching we would get in the car after a game and I could only handle about 5-10 mins tops of football talk. I wanted him to "Focus on me, Focus on me, Focus on me!!!" (famous quote from a Nancy Holcomb) I was the one sitting in the stands observing...the fans!

It has been a dream come true to coach and play with these girls. There are 17 if them. I am grateful that the Lord has given me a love for soccer and a love for high school girls. I wore my sunglasses after the game was over bc I didn't want them to know that I was just as sad as they were and I wanted to cry that we lost and because some of them would not be around next year. It was an honor to be a part of their lives. Pray that I continue to have opportunities to love, challenge and encourage them! They glorified the Lord through soccer this year and I have been blessed!

Nathan announced to me that despite having 2 girls he does not think he would ever be able to handle coaching the girls! It is not just about the game. It is the color of the jersey, the size of the jersey, the jersey fabric, the matching hair bows, the tapped ankles, the time of day, the potty breaks, what time they get out of class... What sounds like whining to a man is just commenting to a woman! He has been incredibly patient with all the CCA teams and his tolerance level for all of the above may be pushed down enough to start coaching girls when Ro and Essie are in college!!

Sorry for the small pics...

On our way to the National Stadium in the Busito!!

A pre game mini speech while half the team was searching for the bathroom!

Holding the trophy high!

Some of my biggest fans!

Some of my "leprechauns" as they like to call themselves being silly...all the tears had dried!

Missing a few girls!

Futbol and Field

2010-06-01T20:40:00.003-05:00

Had the sweetest time rocking my baby tonight. He is such a wild man. He is a bit confused about what language he speaks. We have a precious friend who helps me out during the week. Our life here would be close to impossible without her. She speaks only Spanish. I love seeing my kiddos understand what she is saying. Field just grunts back at us and at her. He completely understands us all...just not sure what he is suppose to say in return.

Anyways, I rocked him tonight and he rubbed my arm and played with my hair and looked me right in the eyes for a few minutes, he gave me kisses. It was so sweet bc he sleeps with his sisters so if you rock one then all 3 wanna rock. They were already asleep!

Nathan's team lost their game today in the semi finals. The other team scored in the last 4 mins of the game. They have had an amazing season. We are super proud of them.

My girls play tomorrow in the big stadium here in Panama. I would be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous! It has been hovering over me all day. The team we play won the major tournament that is made up of all the top Central American teams. Our girls wanted so badly to play in the tournament, but it just wasn't in the budget. So if we win it will be a sweet victory!

Nathan has rented buses for anyone to come and watch the game, K-12! What a brave man...we should have 2 school buses coming!

I have had a blast coaching these girls. I wish I could blog about each one. It has been more than a privedge to develop relationships with them! I will admit that I love getting some playing time myself. You don't know how bad I want to get out on the field myself and play!!

Game is at 1:30...so we will let you know!

Wise Words

2010-05-29T11:20:00.002-05:00

Like most siblings, our girls are deep into arguing with each other. It is close to driving us crazy, why don't they just love each other? Could it be that they have our same sinful flesh?

Nathan sweetly cooked breakfast for us this morning and we decided it was time for a family pow-wow...especially after yesterday when they sprayed Lysol in each other's hair like hair spray. And in case you were wondering, I do not even own hairspray so they did not come up with this bc they were monkey seeing monkey doing! Women just know these things!

The apartment still smells like disinfectant!

Nathan led the pow-wow and I had to run get a paper and pen listening to them talk with their daddy. It was too funny.

He was teaching them some verses in Proverbs.

Quarreling. "A harsh word stirs up anger. You need to depart from evil and do good because God says it is foolish to quarrel."

Essie's interpretation: "A hard word stirs up wranger. You need to heart from d Bull and do God bc God says it is coolish to curl."

Peace Making. "A gentle answer turns away wrath. It is to your honor to avoid strife and to live at peace with everyone."

Essie's interpretation. "A gentle manser turns giraffe. It is your honor to enjoy Sprite and to live in peas with everyone."

Sweet girl has a little lisp!

I am happy to say they have been "doing art" sweetly at the table for almost 2 hours now!! They are enjoying some Sprite and living in Peas with each other!!

Spinning Fast

2010-05-29T10:24:00.005-05:00

It is so very true that we are horrible bloggers. I have never been one for writing thank you notes and I wish we could send out a newsletter every month. But like everyone else in this world we are strained by time and live mostly by the generosity of others, for which I could never communicate the depth of my grateful heart for such support.

The school year is winding down quickly and we are spinning with it. I have spent most of my life saying that I function well under stress, that I am more productive with more on my plate. I think that was true until three of the things on that plate were 4, 3, 20 months!

Here is a glimpse at what else has been on our plate recently:

I have been coaching the varsity girls soccer. We have made it to the finals. We play next week. I am so proud of the hard work these girls have given me. This is a first for their team. I have developed some amazing relationships with the girls!

Nathan is one of the coaches for the varsity boys. They have to win one more game next week to make it to the finals. We are hoping they do so! It will be such a HUGE thing for the school to have 2 teams in championship games! Either way I love watching the guys interact with Nathan. No doubt they love, respect and appreciate him!

Nathan is preparing for the senior graduation. He was chosen by the seniors from all the staff to be the main speaker. What an honor!!!

Nathan has helped keep the soccer league grounded. Things are typically done off the cuff and he has been helping them to stay planned ahead. I think my organizational skills have rubbed off!

Nathan has been driving our van all over town, full of kiddos. He is has been to the zoo with the K4 class on a field trip. To the planitarium with K4 and K5. He has taken classes for ice cream for different rewards throughout the school. Driving elementary kids to the local pool for swimming lessons. One of the first graders thought it fun to pull the fire extinguisher in the van...not so fun to clean up...dry powder everywhere!

Nathan was the boss man the day of the school fund raiser. Planning and pulling off a walk-a-thon for the whole school! There was a sea of blue t-shirts all over our local park!! He kept the school chapel laughing as he did some speed walking skits to keep them motivated to get sponsors!!!

We have a swinging door of people coming and going from our apartment. Something I love. I grew up with people coming and going and we love that our home is inviting and makes you want to stay!!!

I have been the project manager for Apartment A. It has been getting an entire face-lift! New tile floors, new tubs, new light fixtures, new window blinds, new paint, fans, kitchen cabinets re-painted. It was LONG overdue. I have been "trying" to keep the whip cracked on the painters and the tile guys, plumbers and electricans...all in Spanish mind you!!! I love doing this...wishing one day I could be an interior decorator. Missionaries need colorful inviting decorated homes too!!

You can imagine we change clothes 3 times a day and not un-necessarily. The laundry is my constant companion, Nathan, I am sure wishes it was more so!!

We have helped our friends who have been building a mission base for mission groups coming and for Christian Surfers. They are moving this weekend and we have helped at night as much as we could painting and cleaning getting ready for the big move. We are so grateful for the Cotton Family!

Last week I had two girls from my high school group come and spend 4 days with me. Sarah and Meg have been such a blessing to me. I am so honored that wanted to come and spend time with us. They loved on me lots. We did most of the city and markets and even got in some surfing lessons. A first for all of us! IT IS ALOT HARDER THAT IT LOOKS!!

One major task I have completed this semester has been a New Teacher Orientation Packet. CCA has new teachers each year and they are full of questions...I know bc I had so many. So I made a questionnaire for current teachers and families here and came up with a 37 page document about budgets, groceries, food, dress, school, etc.! I am quite proud of it and hope that it helps out the newbies and relieves some of our staff from the questions about moving to Panama!

I know we have more going on, I feel like we have sitters 4 nights a week and trying to keep the kids entertained and keep them from drawing on the walls or trying to make their own chocolate milk! This is all my feeble mind can think to remember! I am already overwhelmed remembering all that I need to wrap up before we leave to go back to the States for the summer.

13 days! Look out Chic-fil-A, PF Changs, BBQ joints, Target, Walmart(to name just a few) HERE COME THE RICHARDSONS!!!

Hope we get to see you...and hear about your crazy worlds. I know we are far from the only ones!!

Our Friend Phillip

2010-05-07T16:56:00.002-05:00

I wanted to let all of you know about our friend Phillip Brummett who had a stoke this week. He is a teacher, neighbor and friend of ours. He and his wife Alisha have three kiddos around our kids age and we have been involved in what has gone on the last couple of days. Nathan actually helped carry him to the van and took him and Alisha to the hospital.

I have been helping update all those here in Panama and wanted to let all of our friends back home know what is going on here.

Here is the link to his blog:

welovemrbrummett.blogspot.com

Clare

Home Stretch

2010-04-06T08:59:00.004-05:00

Here at CCA we are starting our last 9 weeks of the school year. It is going to be a crazy sprint to the finish of the year and I know many of you are in the same phase. We have been working with the soccer teams here with Clare coaching the older girls and I am working with the older guys. We have both enjoyed it a lot. I got a chance to take the boys team to a tournament where they played schools from all over Latin America. It was an experience to be sure! I was standing there at the ceremony with teams screaming and cheering from Panama, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Honduras! It was a great 3 days of hanging out with the guys on the team and getting to know them better! I loved observing the Seniors all the way down to 8th graders getting to know one another and really enjoying one another. One great thing about being at such a small school! We played all the games well and we were even able to get the first victory ever for a Sub 18 Boys team from CCA!
I have had a senior guy "interning" with me in the afternoons this semester. He is going off to play soccer next year for college, and he has been asking a lot of questions about college and just things in general! I have really enjoyed the opportunity to get to know him and speak a little into his life. I pray for more and more opportunities to do this with other students! I have also had a desire to be able to communicate more with the parents of the students. There are a few that I visit with when I see, but many pass by with just a greeting! I know a lot of that is the cultural difference as well as my lacking ability in Spanish, but I want the parents to know who I am and how I want the best for their kids!
I have been asked to be the speaker at graduation this year. I am very honored to be able to do it. I am taking it as encouragement form the Lord for working with the kids and feeling I have made some headway with relationships. I know I have enjoyed getting to know them and talk, but with teenagers you don't always get a lot of feedback on where they stand. I look forward to getting a chance to share with them some thoughts on a big day in their life.
Pray for us as we wrap up the school year here. Help us to finish strong relationally, especially with those that will not be with us here in Panama next year! We now have even more friends that will be going to places all over the globe. We are looking forward to our opportunity to return to the States this summer and see many loved ones. We do not want to have short timers disease and waste away these weeks here. It will be full of soccer games. Right now in our conference Clare's team is 1-1 and my team is 2-0! The school is getting excited about their teams! There are lots of end of the year parties for going away teachers and for seniors. Right now we need strength and energy to make it through. Clare and I are seeing each other in passing and for the next month we have something every weekend. Many of you can relate to this kind of schedule and just the stress that it adds as there is not enough time to communicate.
I have been specifically praying for wisdom in listening to the Spirit as I have had the opportunity to befriend a few nonbelievers or marginal Christians. I have had the opportunity to have some great conversations, but my window of opportunity is shrinking. I want to listen to the Spirit on what I am supposed to say and what questions to ask. I want to have the strength to "pull the trigger" on a tough question when it hits me. Please pray for me in this, as I have loved developing different friendships, and I want to be a light to all those around me.
Thank you again for our prayers. We wish to be better at communicating, but we have found it hard to be in life here and keep in communication with those we love in the States. Thank you for your patience and showing us grace! (We need it)

Too Much

2010-02-20T11:13:00.003-06:00

I know we are way behind in updates. We feel the tug daily to tell you of our world. The things we are experiencing. The people we are meeting. The relationships we are building. The family that has visited. The teachers in our home daily. The students we are teaching. The athletes we are coaching. The children we are parenting. The marriage we are nurturing. The lives that are changing.

I could go on and on.

But what is overwhelming to me today is that as I scan Facebook, as I glance over CNN.com as I hear from many of you, is that we are all burdened. Here are just a few of the needs that I know of personally:

A friend looses her sister
A man looses his job
A man leaves his job
A wife needs to go back to work
A car needs to be replaced
A new round of Invitro begins
A family moves to a new city
A family hears their adoption is soon
Another family hears their adoption is soon
Someone is struggling with depression
Someone is pregnant without insurance
Someone cannot make ends meet under current circumstances
Someone is struggling with addiction
Someone is hurting from a spouse's addiction
A family is living with their parents
Somebody had a second miscarriage
A mother doesn't know her place in her world
A friend looses her best friend
A deadline needs to be met
Someone needs to loose weight
Multiple families with car trouble
Somebody needs to find a new home they can afford
Many are pregnant
Babies are sick
Babies are in the hospital
A friend looses her job
A friends is paying for her own wedding....

These are all people I know and these are all current and these are only off the top of my feeble brain. There is so much pain, so much struggle, so much need.

I want to remember who God is. His Power. His Glory. His Residing Presence. We are just in process. He is refining us. He is giving us distinctiveness, our identity in Him. I want to be distinguishable from the rest of the world despite what my challenges may be. Beth Moore states it well from her Esther study, "One of God's purposes in this journey is to help us recapture both our identity and identification as His children - not so we can be obnoxious but so we can be influential."

So if you are or if you fit into one of the above burdens, or if like me you feel the weight of the everyday burdens like making another meal when you haven't even cleaned up from the last one or begging your children to take a nap so that you may have a moment to do or to be still yourself...so for all of us, this is my prayer and my song today:

Habakkuk 3:17-19 A Hymn of Faith
"Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls---
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my Salvation.
The Lord God is my strength;
He will make me walk on my high hills."

A HIGH HILL IN THE JUNGLE OF PANAMA...

It may be a mystery as to why God has given you your burden. Even so, I pray we steward them well.

New Wheels

2010-01-25T19:47:00.003-06:00

Well it has been a great past month, filled with time of family and fellowship. We were blessed with support to be able to buy a 15 passenger Toyota van. It has already been put to a ton of use and has aged beyond its time. It started with backing into a truck and putting a nice dent in the back door. A very humbling mark of learning to drive a stick in Panama traffic. We were able to fill up the van with Grancy, Grampton, Uncle Drew, Aunt Ellie, and Uncle Sammy and show them the city of Panama, a beach, and the mountains of Panama. It was great being all together as we traveled. The kiddos were spoiled with attention, but it was a great time. We then had Bam-ma and Papa come down for a visit where we got to show off our new home as well. The kiddos were spoiled again and we had a great time. On our trip to the beach with Bam-ma and Papa we had the adventure of someone taking a rock to the passenger side of our new van to steal some cash and an ipod. Thankfully, no IDs or passports were stolen. In the next 24 hours we went to 7 different police stations trying to get a police report for insurance. The van even got dusted for fingerprints. Very quickly the van looked much older than the 3 weeks that it was. It was great as teachers that had gone home over the Christmas break started arriving back. The van has been put into full use with school starting back. There was a cheer from the faculty when it was announced that it was for the schools use for after school activities and field trips. It has already been transporting teachers in the morning (7 is the current record), running 8 students up to a field to do "CCA Fitness Club" (hopefully more in the near future.) It is going to be great for the school. Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. We could not be here in this "sphere of influence" without you. We pray for you to realize you have your own "sphere of influence" that God is calling you to minister to. It might be your kids, your neighbors, your clients at work, or the waitress where you grab lunch. Let us all show us how we love our Lord by loving those around us.

Here is a verse that the girls have been memorizing:
"Call to me and I will answer, I will tell you great and mighty things that you never knew." Jeremiah 33:3

How often am I searching for answers and I don't even ask the One that can tell me?

"Hanging by a Limb"

2009-12-30T18:59:00.004-06:00

A lone leafless tree with a blanket of snow beneath and a little bird perched on a branch.

This was the scene from our Christmas Card last year. Underneath the tree was three picture boxes, one box for each child. It had their full names and ages (I never sent anouncements, so was hoping this would make-up for my lacking!) Underneath all of this was the greeting:

"Peace Love and Joy"

"The Richardsons"

"2008."

Because there was a little bird out on the limb what I really wanted to put instead of "Peace Love and Joy" was:

"Hanging by a Limb"

"The Richardsons"

"2008."

The only reason why I didn't do it was because I was afraid that 2009 would be worse and the limb would brake, we would fall in the snow, the snow would turn to mud, we would have wounded wings or bent beaks. You get the picture!

I had NO IDEA what 2009 would hold when I sent off those beautiful 2008 Christmas Cards!

I will tell you that the branch did break off, right out from under us. The soft snow did turn to mud and maybe we did get wounded and bent, BUT...

We are back on the tree. It's just that we are on a different branch on the Tree of Life. The view is different. We are different.

I wouldn't change much about 2009. I am grateful for the great and mighty things the Lord has told me...that I never knew. (Jeremiah 33:3) That my Lord put wells of his Living Water in our wilderness. That He gave me more reasons to need Him and to be nearer to Him.

I hope that I learn more and need more and am nearer more to my Savior in 2010. I hope I don't have to fall of a branch and wallow in the snow and mud again...BUT...!!

In one breath I have great expectations for 2010 but also in another I have ZERO expectations, the kind of expectations where you have no agenda and are looking forward to seeing how the Lord shows up!!!

We wish you all a very Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!

"Same Tree, Different Branch"

"The Richardsons"

"2009"

A Few Basketball Pictures

2009-11-30T14:04:00.003-06:00

Best Laid Plans

2009-11-29T18:57:00.003-06:00

Well, the last month here in Panama, has been a trying one for my job as Athletic Director. It had a few bright spots, but also had its trials. I will try to share both and see if you can tell what are the high and the lows.

We wrapped up our basketball season with 2 4th place teams and 1 3rd place team. On the final game of the Sub 18 boys game, we hired a Diablo Rojo to transport fans to the game. (Red Devil for those of you who do not speak Spanish. It is a scary school bus converted to a taxi.) The bus showed up an hour late leaving us about 15 minutes before the game was to start, and then proceeded to head to the wrong school, but we got there 5 minutes after the start. We ended up with about 150 fans to cheer us on! It was awesome to have full stands cheering our guys on against the #1 team in our league. Unfortunately the scoreboard was not working at the school so most of our fans were clueless on the score! After the game we headed to load the buses only to have a torrential downpour that caused us to wait 40 minutes before there was a break to load up the kids, but we returned tot he school with everyone we were supposed to, only 15 minutes late. None of this is A typical to Panama.

After that last basketball game, we moved into Volleyball season. I was fortunate to have 4 experienced volleyball coaches able to work with our kids. We had the boys and girls practice together with a total of about 23 kids come out. It was great to see a number of kids that normally did not do sports or any activity come out and give it a try and really have fun with it. (I am sure that the boys and girls practicing together didn't hurt anything!) We had to cram the season in as we were set to have the tournament after only three weeks of practice with one week of Panamanian Independence days. The week of the tournament, I was informed that there would not be a tournament, because there wasn't enough participation from the other schools. We scrambled together two teams from two different churches and a staff team, and played a number of games. The kids had a lot of fun and got to show off what they had learned. It was supposed to go to 5:00 and most everyone stayed and played past 6:00. It was such a good turnout for kids of all ages that we are going to try to have volleyball games at school one Friday a month for anyone to stay after and play, both students and faculty.

The next weekend we were set to have a Track and Field Meet for ages 3rd grade through 12th. We worked hard to recruit kids (especially the older ones) to participate to fill out our roster. We did races during PE and had showed them the long jump and shot put. We had one practice rained out. I was all set for our one and final practice by myself (the other coach went home sick) with mostly elementary and middle school kids when I got a call. It was to inform me that the track meet was cancelled two days before the track meet. It had been double booked with a Special Olympics event. Basically, when our league scheduled the track meet no one checked the calendar to make sure nothing was already on that date. A fine example of organization in Panama. So I had to break it to the kids that there was no meet and then have a practice for an event that wasn't going to happen. It was interesting. We did some races for about an hour and then the kids played soccer until the parents came. It did allow me to have some time just hanging out and talking with some high schoolers which is so valuable.

Upcoming we are starting a CCA Fitness Club this next week. I hope it is the beginning of something new at CCA as we are inviting all 8th graders and up and staff. Besides the fitness and conditioning, I hope it brings camaraderie between students and faculty. I think it can be a huge boost for the athletics.

Pray for me to have wisdom on what programs to work on and pursue without over committing the few resources I have or stretch the kids too far. Also pray, that as recruitment for next year's staff starts that more teachers with an interest in doing activities with students after school come to CCA. I am thankful that God has his plans and I can leave my burden with him. Thank you for your prayers, I cannot share enough what a blessing it is knowing people are out there praying specifically for us.

"For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, you are God's building."

- 1 Corinthians 3:9

Peace

2009-11-11T13:46:00.004-06:00

Some of us long for peace. That "state of tranquillity or quiet" To live in "harmony" with those around us, whether spouse or children, friends, family or neighbors. All these words "tranquility, quiet, freedom, security, order, harmony, concord, agreement, silence, calm" are "states" I think we rarely have this kind of peace and when we do, maybe we don't know what to do with it, knowing how to spend such precious states.

Do you sleep? Do you read? Do you turn on the TV? Do you go to the computer? Do you pull out your phone? Do you put in music? What is it that you do?

Some of us carry our lack of peace like a badge. I know I am guilty of that, "We had THREE children in less than THREE years!"

Some us may cringe at the thought of being alone with only ourselves. Some

of us never let on to a soul that we have no peace in our lives, our homes, our jobs, our hearts, the very pit of our souls.

I am that person who cannot wait in line without speaking something to the person in front of me, or that person who wants to comment on every facebook status. I want to be involved in everything; one because it looks like it would be awesome to be a part of it or two because I think I could make it better. I cannot even enjoy little moments of peace bc I am thinking of all the things I could do if I JUST HAD MORE!! (but that is a whole different subject...called contentment!)

Many of you ask how my Spanish is coming. It is coming well. I am learning, I am feeling confident to speak and sometimes to understand and reply. BUT I will tell you that I have found such a peace in my everyday from not knowing spanish and from being in a foreign country.

Track with me.

-no TV (other than movie watching)

-no txting

-only intentional phone conversations (no minutes to use up)

-radio is only in Spanish

-most songs on radio are in Spanish, some in English...same ones over and over from the 90s

-restaurant, grocery, mall, any other public place all conversations are in a different language.

-no mail with sale fliers

-no target

-billboards are in Spanish

-bumper stickers and every commercial truck signs...all in Spanish

I am alone with my own thoughts. There are few outside sources pumping thoughts into my mind, very few and it is sooo peaceful.

I began asking the Lord, I will be on full overload when I am in an English speaking place, what will I do then? Is this the only way to find peace, to take away all these distractions? I didn't even know I was this distracted, not to even mention the daily tasks of mothering and wifery!

I still have plenty that could keep me from a state of peace and I am learning that I can only find peace in Christ Jesus. Even when I do have "time allotted" to me of peace sometimes it is not peaceful, bc it is my heart that is not at peace.

I may have peace in the midst of my chaos, While I am even cooking dinner in a kitchen that is well over 80 degrees and having little people at my feet begging.

We all have broken hearts and blasted lives to some degree or another BUT Jesus say - "in Me, peace!"

In Christ we have peace in our disturbance giving us tranquility; peace in the commotion giving us quiet; peace in our restraints giving us freedom; peace in our insecurities giving us security; peace in disorder giving us order; peace in being off key giving us harmony; peace in discord and disagreements giving us concord and agreement; peace in chaos giving us silence; peace in the storms giving us calm.

In Christ we find Peace! I will not let my flesh rob me of the inner peace that I have found in Christ's forgiveness - my heart's assurance. When I am at peace with my Savior I am at peace with myself.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee." Isaiah 26:3

I am finding peace in the everlasting Love of my Father. I am praying for all of you to know the same peace that I am finding.

Left Behind

2009-10-20T07:58:00.007-05:00

We are almost three months in with our life in Panama. It has been a sweet time of growing and learning through many different facets!
We have had many encouraging days and many discouraging days following by some more encouraging ones!
Basketball, has been very discouraging. It is safe to say that we have not had a winning season...all 6 teams. This week marks the end of basketball and it can not come soon enough.
Nathan has done an awesome job with what he has been given. Improving on the athletics in many areas....but if you don't have the talent...you just don't have the talent!
I asked him yesterday what he felt like the Lord has taught him most, he said patience. I said do you think you have learned it then...followed by a big "NO WAY!" We both had a good laugh...we are both learning patience.
Nathan posted about relationships and how we have been very encouraged by the many relationships we have already developed. There is one in particular that I would covet your prayers for.
I have had the opportunity to drive all my girls (8th-12th grade) to all our practices and games (that is for a whole new post...11 girls in a 7 passenger and I ran over the bag of balls, 6 of them, not my finest moment!)It has been a privilege to watch them enteract with each other and to see them growing as people and as a team. We have two girls on the team that are completely new to the school (most are new to bball.) One of the new girls lives up the road from us.
I am not going to share her name, but she is from Europe and speaks fluently in three languages and understands 2 more, one being Russian! Her mother died when she was 7 leaving her father with three children in a foreign country. They have just moved to Panama as he has continued his work here. This is her first christian school to attend. All others have been science based, as she described to me.
She has come under my wing, always riding in the front seat,babysitting for our kids every Thursday night when she is not grounded, treating our car and stroller as if it is her own when we are at school functions and her father is not around, and sharing about her adjustments to living here and about her life growing up. It has been my joy.
Last week she was reading "Left Behind." She is an avid reader and very brilliant.
The few weeks prior I asked her if she wanted to come to church with us, she looked like I had just run over a cat, she was so shocked saying, "I can't remember the last time we went to church." She and her brother agreed to come but called the night before to say they could not. We did not pry praying for other opportunities.
Last week after dropping everyone else off I asked her how she like "Left Behind" she said she loved it. I asked her what she loved about it. She said all of it. Then I asked her if she was going to be Left Behind, she replied, "probably."
I asked her why she felt that way and she said she was so confused, confused about everything. The only things she knew for sure was that, "I am here, and that I am a girl. Beyond that, I have no idea."
We continued in a deep conversation of what the Bible means and what it means to follow the Lord. She said that there was a lot for her to think about.
Please first pray that she feels the presence of the Lord in her life, that she accepts that she is loved unconditionally by a Heavenly Father, she has be given a place to release her sins and that she can give her life to someone whom she cannot see, she cannot understand, and she cannot figure out.
Her brain is trying to grasp the profoundness of what the Bible is saying and she wants to figure it out...without the love of the Lord in her heart. I want so badly for her to accept His love and love in return.
Please pray for many more opportunities for her to share and for me to share and for me to love and encourage. Pray for a wise and discerning heart, and pleasant words to promote instuction. That I may be a fountain of understanding and for my mouth to be guided. (Proverbs 16:21-23.)
There are so many more things I want to tell you about her....hopefully soon I will have lots!
This is why we are here. This is why we are sweating our brains out and shuffling our kids around so that we may coach these kids. It is such an awesome way to love, teach and encourage...with the love of our Savior.
I will be with her, even today!
Pray for courage, boldness, knowledge of the Holy Spirit and always for patience!!
Team pictures on Wednesday....I will post asap!
Always,
Clare

The EVERGREEN on the EVER DIVINE

2009-10-08T08:43:00.005-05:00

The "Evergreen" Crate arrived after a mostly safe voyage on the "Ever Divine." We were grateful to not have any extra taxes and we found favor with everyone involved. We got a good taste of how Panama operates as we went back and forth to the office handeling the process on the Panama side of things....a sweet taste with the exception of the location of the office. After wandering around the insides of a seeminly deserted building we happened upon an office under total renovation down a dark hall...the office was still in full effect though! We had a few damaged goods. Some things damp. It seemed as if the crate had been dipped into the ocean about 18 inches up. It was still like Christmas!
Sadly, as soon as we unloaded the crate we piled it into the middle of the rooms and covered it all with plastic as we had much to go in having a livable apartment. The school was so gracious to put new floors in and re-do the bathrooms. Another taste of Panama would be how long the processes are here. I just about drove the painters crazy. There were complete walls of paint peeling off. They arrived the first day and painted two rooms without so much as wiping off a few years of dirt and grim much less sanding. I spent days sanding with them. It was a full two weeks of spanish lessons. It ended up being a blessing because I was forced into remembering and learning the language. Nathan would probably tell you that NO ONE can paint a room to my satisfaction except myself. I think he may be correct. I can tell you this, it may not be perfect, but its a lot better than what was there!

These are the painters. In the two weeks we spent 'lejando y pintando" (sanding and painting) they called me a princess, detailed, boss, commander, perfectionist....and that is what I heard! I think they finally got the picture that I wanted it done well. I taped down the floor lines and they said, "We don't do that here in Panama!" I said I knew that and that is exactly why I was doing it! I treated them to many Snicker bars hoping they would see beyond my needs for perfection! We spent a few nights going behind them and sanding and cleaning. They had never seen or heard of a 5 and 1 tool used for all your painting/scraping needs! Nathan has been a huge trooper with all my perfection detailed princess bossy moments!
We are moved it, plastic is off, sanding and painting has commenced until a later date and I have the urge to be nerotic! We are having fun settleing in and enjoying our neighbors...fellow teachers with Nathan. We are so grateful to the people helped us with our furniture and so many other things to make this feel like home and to look beautiful! All three kids are sleeping WELL together and having lots of fun giggling and jumping on the beds. Hope they remember these days! I know I will never forget. I am doing my best to remember the Lord's promises of yesterday, of today and for our future and not dwell on what I do not have, but remember what I do. So many prayers have been answer and so many new ones have manifested.
More to come....just taking it one day at a time!
All our love! Clare and gang

Relationships

2009-10-06T15:29:00.004-05:00

It is a testimony to prayer at how we are starting to feel settled in here. We have been in our apartment for three weeks now. It has been a huge blessing to have our own place since dismantling our house back in April. Clare has done an awesome job as you could expect in organizing and maximizing the space. I think all we have left to do is to get some coverings for some windows and to get a few things up on the wall. It has already been called "the vortex" since it just sucks you in. That's what we wanted. At times it feels like we are living in a college dorm again as the people we work with and socialize are just a few steps away. Except this time we have kids. We are very grateful for our neighboring teachers that were very gracious with us as they let us use their oven and washer and dryer while we were waiting on ours to be delivered and fixed. It has been fun to be in fellowship with our new neighbors and getting to know them, their background, and their faith. Just as we have been learning the cultural difference in Christianity while living in Panama, I am getting to see how there are many different Christians carrying out God's work in different ways and mindsets in the States. I just pray that we can learn to not see the differences but celebrate how we love our Saviour.

I believe it is all about relationships. We are here to glorify God and to share what He has done in our life with others. To be able to share and give input with others, you have to have put time in. That comes through family, being a friend in tough times, a listening ear, a shoulder, youth leader, counselor, carpooling, small group, bible study, or meals together. Relationships are what makes life messy. It is easier to not be involved in someone's life then to deal with issues and to love them through their faults and risk the same for yourself.

This contributes to why teaching is such a draining profession. You are in the middle of relationships with parents and students. You come across more people then most typical workplaces. I have been praying about seeing the children for who they are and what the Lord has in store for them. They will one day be husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. It is easy to lose track of that when you are trying to manage a classroom. I pray that I am teaching life lessons and shaping them to be joyful in serving our Lord.

Relationships back home are definitely missed. It is hard to be away from the ones that we love. It is more difficult in that I must choose to not dwell on what I am missing, but to be where I am. This is more a defense mechanism than anything. We are working on being content with where the Lord has us. Some days that is easy, as I play games with kids, see parrots flying by, watch a cruise ship go through the canal, learning a new language, and countless other things. Other days it is more difficult, as I deal with parents that don't communicate, drive for an hour after a practice or game to take kids home, deal with staff that is anti-sports, have to talk with kids about their apathetic attitude, and learning a new language. On top of missing out on family gatherings, small groups back home, and groving in Oxford before a big game. Ro is especially homesick these days after a visit from her Grancy and Grampton. When she prays it is "Help us to be in Panama, I don't want to be in Panama." She then prays for everyone that she wants to come see her here. It kills me.

Thank you for your prayers, and please continue to do so. Pray that we hear God's words of encouragement and not Satan's doubts. I pray that you see the hearts around you that need prayer and love. We are all in this together.

6 Weeks In

2009-09-06T22:04:00.003-05:00

It is hard to believe that we are starting our 6th week of school this week. It had been both challenging and rewarding. The classes have been going well. I feel that most of the kids have been really responsive to me, but I definitely have a few more to win over with each grade being a bit different. There are also a few kids that I feel like I am really getting through to and starting to establish a relationship with. Ones that I can talk with for a bit when I have a chance and get to know what is going on in their life. It is great when you get to have those breakthrough conversations for the first time and you see a genuine smile.

I am realizing that a lot of teenagers just need someone to expect more out of them. I read a book called "Do Hard Things" that was written by teenagers for teenagers. I would recommend it for anybody that deals with that age or parents. The idea is that the concept of teenagers is a relatively new thing and that our expectations of teenagers are so low in comparison to history. We talk about "kids these days" but we have allowed this time of childhood to go on for two long even though they have the mental and physical capacity of adults. Today they are "a good kid" if they are staying out of trouble and go to church. We don't expect anything proactive as far as taking on responsibilities or working to better the community. It all goes to the fact that we all want to be tested and found worthy and capable. We just need to give teenagers more opportunities, so they can see what they can accomplish and come along side them when they fail to dissect what went wrong for the next time. These are the opportunities that I am praying for.

The other day I was going around to the basketball players that had low grades to talk to them. Some of them had this look of astonishment that I knew what their grade was and was telling them to get it up. I told them they had to take responsibility on themselves to go talk to the teacher and see what they need to do. I hope it will help be the kick in the pants that they need, or at least that someone outside of their house and the teacher cares about the work that they are putting forth. We will see this week if it pays off as Friday is grade check time for eligibility.

We had a basketball parent's meeting a couple weeks ago in which about 10% of the parents showed up. It went well for the ones that were there. I was disappointed with the turnout even though that was about what I figured in the days leading up to it. I reminded myself that I just have to keep telling the same message and that eventually they would catch on. Clare reminded me that if I could get it to where I wanted to be in the first year, that there would be no reason to stay. I have to keep focus on doing the right thing and not focus on what is not changing.

I have the privilege to coach the Sub 12 boys basketball team that ranges from 3rd graders to 7th graders. It takes me a bit to slow down and see that these kids have never really played basketball or been on any organized team. They do not understand the concept of focus, hustle, and hard work. I am growing in patience and losing even more hair. We are improving, but I found out last year they lost a game 52-6 and we lost most of our players, so I am not clearing any spots out on the trophy stand just yet. Most of the other teams look to be competitive so that will be fun.

It is hard to capture some of the busyness we have been the last few weeks,as I know many of you are super busy yourselves. I will give you a glimpse of a couple days last week.

Thursday
Wake up feeling sick
Go to work to then need to get a sub as I was sick.
Go to the Dr to end up getting two antibiotics and 4 doses of shots for Clare to administer
Find out that we will need to unload our crate as there are no muchachos.
Go to recruit a new friend to help move.
Unload the crate in the rain.
.

Friday
Go back to school, still sick
Cover the elementary PE teacher's classes that fainted the day before playing dodgeball with my classes.
So I am outside straight from 8 to 2:30 with classes of K4 that speak very little english all the way to apathetic seniors. I tried to do something structured with the little kids but gave up after 15 minutes and just gave the m some balls to just run around and play with.
Have basketball practice from 3- 5 with 17 kids while it is raining, so I get wet and the floor is wet.
Wait around for an hour for a student to get picked up.
Rush home to change clothes and eat a bite before playing in a game where some adults scrimmaged the varsity boys team. Sadly for the adults I was one of the leading players. My head was pounding, but it was fun. It was my first refereed bball game since 5th grade and thankfully I played better than I did back then.
All of this while waiting to hear and talk to my sister who had my 4th niece, Sarah Paige Forrester. All went well, but I had a tough time of feeling like I was missing out. I wanted to be in the hospital to greet her and be with family. Can't wait for my kids to meet their new cousin.

We are so thankful for your prayers. We feel lifted up, because despite the craziness we are making it and feel like we are seeing some fruit in why we are here. When we went to the Dr we saw a parent of a CCA student that I have. We were asking him about what he did. He is a brick runner. He takes cement blocks to remote villages to help them build better places to meet and live. And through that he is able to minister to the tribes. It is a rough trip for him to get there that involves boats, trucks, and sometimes horses. He is a a modern tent maker. He told us what a blessing CCA was to them with their ministry and being at a place where there daughter was at a good school. Clare and I looked at each other and said this is why we are here. It was good to hear as we needed the encouragement in fighting of the sickness throughout the family and working to get into out apartment so we can get settled.

Psalm 86:6-7

Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. In the day of my trouble i will call to you, for you will answer me.

A Heavy Heart

2009-08-31T08:36:00.002-05:00

Sweet Friends.
I have much to share about what is going on here in Panama which I may do later today.
My heart is heavy for my sweet friend who loves so well and never seems to be weary in loving not just her six children but all God's children.
She left TN before we left for Panama. She was heading to CA to pick up her sixth baby, Wylie. She and her husband have adopted 4 of their six.
It is week nine and they are still processing papers in CA for Wylie. She is there with her younger kiddos waiting...patiently.
Please pray for Heather and Scott for the time in CA to end so they may return home with Wylie soon. For Favor in the courts, for health for their other children and strength and continued patience.
I had not know Scott and Heather long (and sadly wish I could know them better) before I knew that these were two people who loved each other, loved their children, loved those around them and most importantly they love the Lord and are unafraid of it oozing from them.
Please pray with me for them today.
Their blog is www.redingtonfamily.blogspot.com
Clare

Vallirosa

2009-08-26T21:57:00.003-05:00

Vallirosa...that would be the name of the Doctor we have visited now three times since our arrival in Panama. He is a kind man who thankfully speaks English quite well.

I may or may not have mentioned that Ro had been a bit under the weather. That would be an understatement at this point. She has run a fever many of the days we have been here, even if it has been low grade. She had a pretty good fever on Sunday and it has escalated this week to becoming a fever of 104.6 this afternoon. Dr. Vallirosa saw her for the third time and she has a pretty good double ear infection as well as a good cough and swelling around her eyes, due to the fluid infection.

She is a huge trooper, getting her blood work done last week and a shot today....not to mention that the antibiotics are not flavored.

I am asking that you join us in praying for the Lord to heal her little body that she would return to her normal self and not be in constant battle with her own body and every little sickness lingering for her to find. She is a nail bitter and I am sure that is of no help in fighting infection.

She has been a much better patient than I have been a nurse. There is only a computer for watching movies (there is one tv in the basement far far away from all other activity) and she has two other little creepers who want to be in the know of exactly what is going on with her! Tonight she was asking me to tell her a story about Jesus and then we found her singing later about how Jesus carried his own cross not just for her, but for "eeeevvvverrry oooonnee!" I wish I was that pleasant when I felt sick thanking him for dying for not only me, but for all. If I am thankful when I am not well, it is only a choice not a feeling!

To top all of this off...our crate arrives TOMORROW, TOMORROW I LOVE YA TOMORROW YOUR ONLY A DDDDDAAAAYYY AAAWWWAAAYYY!

We are so eager to have our comforts near and eager to be and feel some sense of settled! It comes with great news, it was much less than we anticipated. We found favor in some agents eyes, eyes we have not met! Praise the Lord for Panama following procedure!!

We are sad that our apartment in not but is almost ready. There is painting yet to be done and plumbing to be installed. We are hopeful to be in there within the week. This is hard for my type A personality to let go of some of the not so straight lines and the chunky grout lines. On the other hand I am beyond grateful for the people and the school that have afforded us the beauty of new floors, new bathrooms and many other things that will help in making Panama home...silly little things that are a big deal to me!

So here is a breakdown:

Praising the Lord for Favor from Customs

Praising the Lord that our Stuff is only hours away

Praising the Lord that Tylenol is in Panama

Prayer for Ro's body to heal and fight!

Prayer for the rest of us to remain healthy...we are all dragging a bit

Prayer for the remainder of the work left on the apartment will #1 move quicly #2 not present too much more of a mess #3 not send me (Clare) to the moon bc its not perfect...like how I would do it, but don't have the time or the money....(i do know i am not perfect!)

Ro and the rest of the kiddos would be unaffected by the fact that we are scurrying to get into our apartment and are having to leave them more than we wish esp when sick...leaving our hearts behind.

There is so much more to tell...like wishing I was sitting in Brentwood Children's Clinic today!

Headline Pictures.

2009-08-20T09:37:00.004-05:00

Pictures to Accompany Headlines!

Headlines!

2009-08-20T08:15:00.005-05:00

CAR PURCHASED! Green Hyundai Terracon. Diesel. In Good Shape. Thrilled to Have Wheels.

10 Month Old Eats Toilet Paper...From Toilet...Toilet Was Backed-Up. Potty Paper. While Company Was Over. Child Smells Like Port A Potty.

Ro Askes Her Daddy Who She is Going to Marry...Pauses...."I Think Maybe You Daddy!"

Mother Can't Find Two Year Old After Checking On Her During Naptime. Mother Reading The Shack. Panic. 5 Minutes Searching. Two Year Old Found Asleep in Corner Between Wall and Dresser. Panic Diverted to Histerics. Laughter.

Dinner with Cottons. Dinner with Jordan and Lindsey. Dinner with Joel and Darby. Dinner with Cousins. Dinner with Cousins. Dinner with Matt and Misty. Dinner with Amy and Shelia.Dinner with Cousins. Dinner with 650. Dinner with Small Group. 3. Dinner with Cousins.

Clare Coaching Basketball. Grateful For Years of Practice Which Thought to be Unneccessary. Necessary. Hot. Need to Soak Aching Bones. Not 15 Anymore.

Nathan Coaching Sub 12 Boys. 20 Sub 12 Boys. Patience Necessary. Need to Saok Aching Bones. Not 15 Anymore. No Need For P90X.

3 Small Children take Cold Bath. Dinner From Microwave. Nathan Cold Shower. Clare Cold Shower. Forgot to order Tropi Gas.

Disposal. Dishwasher. Missing from Apartment. Better. Never There In the First Place. Seemingly Unnecessary.

Essie Colors on Wall.

Essie Colors on Ottoman.

Essie Tattoos Herself. Markers.

Essie Paints Herself. Lipstick. 5 Tubes. Destroyed. One Large Bathmat Rescued. Thankful for Tile.

Field Climbs Stairs. Field Rolls Down Stairs. Twice. Chairs Blocking. Now.

No Need f0r Dog. 10 Month Can Lick Floor from Fallen Food from Sisters...Never from the Mother.

Ready. Almost. Apartment. Tile. Paint. Clean-up.

Missed. Friends. Friends. Mom. Family. Paisley. Canonbury.

Missing 2 Year Old. Again. Found. Asleep Behind Couch Cushions.

Missing 2 Year Old. Again. Found. Asleep With Brother in Pack n Play.

Found. New Friends. Young and Our Age.

Books Read. The Shack. The Shack. The Noticer. The Noticer. Genesis. Exodus. Reading. The Land Between....

4 Weeks. No TV. No Target. Time to Read. Time to Talk. Time to Think. Time to Pray. Time to Spend with Others. Time to Prepare.

Marvi. Dan. Wife. Husband. Cousins. AMAZINGLY PATIENT. Giving Time. Giving. Impossible Without Either.

Stuff. Its Here. Somewhere. Pray for Favor. Customs Clearing.

Becky. Carla. Cary. Genesis. Stephanie. Avery. DD. Debra. Bella. Basketball Girls. Pray for More. Other Coach. Louis. Only Spanish.

Speaking Spanish. Not hearing Spanish. Pray for Ears that Hear. Pray for Mouth to Speak.

Homesick. This is Home. Need a Home. Soon.

Teachers. Instant Community. Awesome and Unique Community. Each Loves. Loves Children. Loves Panama. Loves Eachother. Hearts For Panama, Its People.

Joyful Learning. Preschool Co-op. Instant Friends. 2 2 Year Olds. 2 3 Year Olds. 2 Babies. Every Friday.

Support. Coming. Getting There. Pray for Wisdom. Pray for Diligence.

Still Parenting. Training up Children. Ours and Others. Coaching. Teaching.

Skype. Working Most Days. Spotty. Frustrating.

My Father. Issac's Father. Abrahams Father. Jacob's Father. He Still Is the "I AM." In Tennessee. In Panama. Never Changes Who my Father Is.

Stay Tuned. More To Come. I am Sure!

Each of You. Loved. Missed.

A Zoo

2009-08-10T21:46:00.003-05:00

The National Bird of Panama! Quite a threat from what we understand!
This was the only paved road in the zoo. The rest of the walk/stroll was off roading. It took me back to my high school days! Thankfully it had not yet rained for the day and only required minimal hosing off of the shoes and strollers.
I wish I could remember the names of all the animals. These were like small hippos with anteater faces. Interesting animals in Panama!
Just a random picture from my day...a zoo in and off itself! I am not sure whose day is longer...Nathan in the heat with teenagers playing games all day...or mine, inside with toddlers playing "games" all day? Its up for a vote!
The monkeys were begging for food at the zoo!
This was a rare moment. Ro taking it in how close she was. I asked her to turn around and take a picutre. She said, "No thank you, Its too close!" Most definitely I agree!
We are looking over the ledge at the small alligator charging our way! He just is loose in the zoo!...as are a few other animals!

New friends and cousins! We were so excited to have an invite to the zoo. It cost us big money for 2 adults and 5 kids...$2.25....bets the Nashville Zoo any day!

First Days of School

2009-08-08T21:31:00.002-05:00

Well, I have had my first days back at school in a few years, and they started off pretty good. I think I am a little stricter in my classroom management, but I feel confident that they will learn that this is in their best interest. The kids are pretty good kids and it is interesting, having so many different cultures in class. I am trying to fight making snap judgements about cultures and the attitudes of their culture that is instilled in kids. I am hoping to just love on each of them, where they are. Many of the students really don't have adults really paying attention to them as they have been raised by maids and parents that are not involved at all. I know I will learn more about this and will blog more about it in the future. The first days involved going over rules and expectations and teaching the basketball game Knockout. I was able to play with the kids and ask them questions while in line. Of course they were all rooting against me, but thankfully I held my own pretty good, even though I am embarrassed to say that I got beat by a group of 11th grade girls. I told them that they couldn't tell anyone. I am going to have my hands full with the 12th grade class. Besides, the usual too coolness of seniors, this class seems to have been pretty notorious for being apathetic and just plain poor attitudes. I feel confident that I can win the majority of them over.

I am at full speed recruiting kids to be involved in the basketball program that starts next week. I am also working on coaches, and practice gyms for the six teams that CCA has. I spent one day last week with my Irish elementary PE teacher, Simon, trying to find some gyms. It is humbling relying on somebody to translate everything for you. We thought we had found two, only to find out we couldn't use one of them. We are pursuing a few more places, and working on a practice schedule so that is what is keeping my plate full. Once we get some logistics behind us, then I hope to start working on some ways to do outreach with our sports teams. One thing, that I hope to get good feedback with is having some of the senior basketball players help coach the Sub 12 basketball teams. I think it will be a great experience on both sides.

I especially have been getting to know some of the other staff at the school and it is great starting to meet other like minded people from all over. They all have a different story and background and we look forward to getting to know them better. It is amazing how you can get along with just about anyone when there aren't a lot of choices, so you focus on similarities instead of looking at why you might not be able to be friends. It is great hearing and seeing the heart of different people and how they ended up in Panama.

Clare bought Field a walker to sit in since he started crawling. He is getting around fast in that thing. I know it is not going to be long before he is walking. He is pulling himself up and crawled up a couple stairs the other day. The girls are still having fun with their cousins, but they have been quite a handful the past week. Hopefully, we will get into a routine and schedule soon enough for their sake and our sanity. We did go to a Panamanian zoo today with another family. It wasn't quite the same as a zoo in the US. They were all animals native to Panama, and it was like they found the animal in the wild and put a cage around it. We got to see a jaguar, parrots, nellkehs (which we see everywhere and is kind of a cross between a rabbit and rat but the size of a small dog), toucans, turtles, a very large crocodile, caymans, monkeys in a cage a foot away, deer, some animal that looked like a mini hippo with an anteater face. It was a fun adventure.

We are learning how much more complex it is to getting things done here in Panama compared to the US. For example, I needed to get a simple paper notarized for our shipping of things. Where in the US, I could go to a bank and get it notarized for free, here I had to go through a lawyer and pay $20 for the notary and then the lawyer a $20 fee. That is just one example, and add to that the language barrier, and God is teaching us some serious patience and how to roll with the punches. We had dinner with a couple tonight that is working on adoption laws and the orphanages here in Panama and we were discussing the difference in our Western "get it done" culture and the "manyana" culture of Panama. It is interesting how both are in God's timing and plan. God loves us all, and there are people with both mind sets doing His work. We cant do anything faster than God's plan, and it is in His hands. I am finding comfort and rest in that.

A Few Pictures

2009-08-04T22:17:00.002-05:00

This is after a little rain shower and some homemade popsickles. You can also see pink ice cream on their shirts from a morning adventure to the terminal to get blood work and fotos for our visa...we had to wait for the doctor for an hour and killed some time with some 90 cent ice cream at 10 am! One picture you can see the humidity in the air. Field is getting his 3rd and 4th tooth and is smiling big enough for you to see! He has learned to crawl in the last week and we bought him a walker...looks like it is from 1950...but it works and he LOVES it! JD, our cousin was our entertainment today! We are sad that our cousins will be starting school in two days...I am really sad! I will post some pictures tomorrow of how the apartment is coming!

The Kissisng Hand

2009-08-03T23:05:00.004-05:00

We packed a few children's books with us to tide us over until our shipment comes and let me tell you that I have read "Llama Llama Red Pajama" and "Green Eggs and Ham" and "I have a New Potty" so many times that I have lost count. Sooo when I heard there was a garage sale of someone with kiddos returning to the states I was hopeful that there would be some books I could buy and expand our material!

The garage sale was a bit over priced, but only the Americans have them so they can sell it for more than you think they should. $2 a book. I bought 4.

I have already read them several times today, but was struck by one in particular. Let me explain.

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn is a book about a racoon anxious about starting school not wanting to go, he likes his toys, his friends, his swing and wants to stay home with his momma. (I know how he feels!)

His mom tells him, "Sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to do, even if they seem strange and scary at first. But you will love school once you start." She goes on to tell him about the kissing hand. She takes his little paw spreads open his fingers and kisses him right in the middle of his palm. She says, "Whenever you feel lonely and need a little loving from home, just press you hand to your cheek and think, 'Mommy loves you, Mommy loves you.'" She goes on to tell him not to worry the kiss with stick.

The little racoon loved his Kissing Hand, knowing that his mother's love would go with him wherever he went. He even kisses his mother's palm as he scampers off to school to remind her that he loves her. It fills her heart.

I thought it was a cute book.

After I FINALLY got all my children down for a nap. I was feeling a bit like Chester the Racoon and wondering what I have done to myself and my children, feeling anxious about our move to Panama. I read some of the Psalms searching for some comfort, it didn't really work. Then I read about Cain killing Abel which also was not comforting as Essie tried to kill Field in the tub and then again pressing his face into a pillow only minutes later today. So again I pulled out my Jesus Calling book and it was so profound.

"Nothing can separate you from My Love....whenever you start to feel fearful or anxious, repeat this unconditional promise." "

"Be assured that I never abandon any of My children, not even temporarily. I HAVE ENGRAVED YOU ON THE PALMS OF MY HANDS."

What an unbelievable promise. I have my very own Kissing Hand. I am forever engraved in the palm of my Lord and Savior. There is no greater proof of unconditional love. I am not forsaken in the midst of my anxious thoughts.

I read both over again today to see how the Lord used a little racoon to remind me that I am NEVER separated from my Creator even when I am not wanting to try something different like go grocery shopping in a cramped store with people who assume you know their language looking for food that you can and want to eat when anything familiar is 5 times what it is at the large Publix back in the states. I liked what I had and everything around me has changed but I know the thing that does not change is that I have the knowledge that God's love for me sticks and is not going to rub off. Soooo comforting.

On another note...If you feel so led to pray for us, please pray that we find a car that is reliable and a good price. To be specific, we need a 7 seater, diesel gas, automatic, low mileage in the low teens for price....everything is more expensive here than we thought! Better to be specific than not!

All our love...and all our gratitude to our Lord whom we have the divine assurance of His Love!

Clare

Adventures of the First Week

2009-07-29T18:50:00.003-05:00

We have been in Panama for a week now, and it has looked a little different than I had expected the first week to look, but it has been good just the same. I was hoping to have a productive week as we settled into Panama, but quickly found out that many things are just more complicated than they are back in the US. So drivers license, bank, and a few other things will have to wait. The school decided that the apartment that we are to be living in was long due an update. That was a real treat for Clare, so we spent Saturday picking out some tile for the floors and bathroom and she is working on picking out paint colors. We have been living next to our "cousins" and the girls have been spoiled by their cousin Ellie. She has been super sweet to the girls playing with them and getting them special treats to play with. I think she is having fun having the little sisters that she never had. We have been able to try some of the local fruit and a Panamanian version of "chicken noodle soup" that was very good. I played basketball for a couple hours with some guys and came back literally ringing wet from the humidity. We have been having afternoon thundershowers almost every afternoon. Clare and I both have been able to read a book in the week since we have been here. I finished "The Shack" and Clare read "The Noticer." We are going to trade so we can discuss the books with each other.

The other day I ventured into the city driving and got good and lost, but I found my way around and eventually made my way to the destination after a phone call. It was actually a lot of fun. I was by myself so I didn't have anyone telling me I was doing something wrong. Driving is very aggressive, and so far it has been kind of fun, but I haven't really been caught in a traffic jam yet. We have already made a trip to the doctor as Ro found herself with a cold type virus that caused her to throw up the other night. Needless to say a very long night. Clare is not enjoying the outside yet as she feels she is being attacked by mosquitoes, since she had 15 bites. I have hardly noticed them. We quickly realized that really not many people speak English at all, and so especially the first day I froze and I couldn't even say "No habla espanol" Right now I am pretty lost if I cant point at something or the conversation requires more than the Panamanian greeting of "Bueno." So I just try to smile a lot so even if I am making mistakes they can get a good laugh out of the silly gringo.

I am very anxious to get going with the school year. Basketball season starts up soon and so that will be taking up a lot of my time as I figure out coaches, players, teams, and schedule. I was able to hear the excitement of the people seeing the new basketball goals that we ordered for the school this summer. Tomorrow the welders are making me some ball racks to store some of the equipment as well as the lines on the asphalt getting a fresh coat. I hope to be able to start recruiting a number of the staff to help with the athletics. I want to meet my students and start establishing relationship with them. It all cant happen soon enough. I believe I am being taught patience, but we are very excited to be here even though right now it doesn't seem any where close to "home."

Colossians 1:13-14

"He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins."

We are here!

2009-07-23T10:30:00.003-05:00

The Richardson Ride is Rolling!

We made it to Panama last night without any major hitches. Nobody and Nothing was searched...all NINE bags, car seats, strollers, various carry-ons including pink backpacks with hearts that Nathan actually wore...he looked mighty handsome!

Thanks to all of you who prayed us there. The kids did awesome and to our knowledge didn't drive anyone around them crazy.

We read in our Jesus Calling book the night before we left that Rest does not actually always mean in the sense of not doing anything or getting to sleep, it can also mean to "put it all" to rest in the Lord's hands, resting in His Presence! We have only been sustained with His kind of rest or we would not have made it this far.

I saw a woman on the plane reading from her Bible last night...that was one trip with Ro to the potty and then two minutes later I was in line again with Essie. I asked what she was reading and she told me that she was reading Isaiah for the second time bc she did not understand it the first time. She was from Haiti and her husband from Panama. They were taking their two boys to visit their grandparents. I so enjoyed getting to stand in line and listen to her share.

It prompted me to open up Isaiah as I am sure I do not understand it either.

Isaiah 26:3,4 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever; for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength."

My mind has had lots to wander on...many things I have wanted to blog about, but have had little time to share...maybe soon...but I have trusted in my Lord and it is He who has given me peace. He has given me as well as Nathan an unbelievable amount of strength to do what we did not know we had the capacity to do.

Our greatest encouragement we have heard many times, but were reminded listening to a podcast by John Piper in his slow enunciated tone.."This Life is but a breath!" Knowing this we asked ourselves and we ask you, how then will you live?

Love to all of you. We think nothing less that pure gratitude for all those who are sharing in this breath of life!

May the Lord be Glorified!

Clare

Mover of Men and Mountains

2009-07-06T10:19:00.002-05:00

I have been reading this book over the past couple of weeks, as my Dad passed it on to me to read. It is the autobiography of R.G. LeTourneau, who helped developed most of the major earth moving machines in the early to mid 20th Century. He was a businessman, who had God as his partner and would end up tithing 90% of his company's common stock and 90% of his income. There were a couple quips that I wanted to share that really stuck out in my mind, mostly dealing with working.

In a story of him wheelbarrowing sand as a young worker an older man told him,

"Pushin' is a rest from shovelin'. Shovelin' is a rest from pushin'. Then there's the trip back with an empty barrow where you don't do nothin' at all. Kid, you got yourself a job that's just one long rest."

What a great way to look at the tasks ahead of each of us.

He also shared the story of being in debt, due to going into business with a bad partner. He wanted to get out of his present business and get started on his own. When the banker asked, "What security have you got for the balance of your debt?" LeTourneau answered by simply raising his two hands and the banker nodded satisfied.

It would be true character to have a legacy that people trusted you to work hard and take care of your commitments.

On another story he told of a boss's statement after hearing LeTourneau make excuses and blaming other people.

" When things haven't gone as well as they probably should have, and you start to blame circumstances and other people instead of yourself, you are never going to improve. It's when you start to improve these matters yourself that you improve the matters and yourself both."

I pray this is the attitude and spirit that I carry with me in my tasks both at work and home.

Always too early to say goodbye

2009-06-30T12:29:00.003-05:00

Last week, we were in Nashville for the last time before we move to Panama. It was a filled week of getting things checked off our list and meeting with people. We have been blessed to have the relationships that we have had as a couple. Wednesday night there was a party for us, and it was awesome to see so many people and observing everyone enjoying each other. One of my thoughts the next day was that it was a small taste of heaven. Loved ones all around, fellowshiping. Then I realized that I wasn't coming close to doing heaven justice. We will be in the presence of our Lord, praising him and I feel we will not have a care about the people around us. It was tough to say "see you later" to so many people that have been playing a key role in our lives. I was thinking about how our parents always talk about the stories of those from when we were first married. That Nashville group will always be in that role. We have been doing a lot of life together the past few years. From newly married, multiple kids, working and job changes, 242, small groups, Christmas Parties, first houses, trips together, and birthday parties. So many memories. I can't wait to see when and where we meet up together again.

Thursday, we got to spend the day up in Clarksville with my nieces, and Paige and Nate. It was a great day of watching all the girls play and getting to visit. Then one of the times, that I most dreaded came. We had to say "see you later" Now this was hard as I love my sister and her family, and I knew that it may be awhile before we live near each other again as Nate is in the Army. Ro thanks God for her cousins every time she prays. My prayer is that we are intentional and creative in keeping that love for her cousins up.

So the departure is quickly approaching. I can't wait, to get busy doing the work that I am supposed to do down in Panama. We are busy working on our support letters and closing up shop here in the US. The last week was definitely a dreaded hurdle. I wish we had more time with everyone not only in the next couple weeks but in general. Relationships is what makes this life worth living. I wish I was better at them. I know we have eternity, and we will see each other before then.

Please pray for new relationships for all of us. Not to replace, but to add to so that we may increase our ministry.

Here is a verse that is my prayer in this new position of teacher/ coach/ athletic director.

1 Peter 5:2 -4

Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.

It's OK to cry

2009-06-22T23:34:00.003-05:00

Sunday we all piled in our Envoy (filled with gas for those of you worried about previous excursions!) We picked up Drew and Ellie from the airport. They were coming from doing all the music for Young Life at the camp, Crooked Creek. They had just a little time to do a few things before driving to another Young Life camp, Windy Gap to be continuing with music.

We had an hour and a half with them before saying good-bye. As we drove off and gave our final waves. Ro and Essie began arguing over having the music on or off. (I am not going to tell you who I wanted to side with, although I will tell you that the WEE SING CD has 62 Bible songs!) I caught myself getting irritated with Ro with how she was responding and realizing that I was irritated bc I don't like saying good-bye. I was trying to explain to her what compromising was when she just said, "Mommy, I want to go home." I told her that our new home was in Panama and we weren't there yet. She responded telling me that she did not want to go to Panama, she wanted to go to our house. I explained to her that in the same way that she sold her toys at our garage sale for others to enjoy, that mommy and daddy did the same with our home. I explained that it was very hard to do and some days I wish I hadn't given my house away but that I knew that the Lord has a special blessing for us for being obedient even when its hard to obey. She continued to get angry and then I realized that it wasn't the house she was sad about, it was that we were saying goodbye to Uncle Drew and Aunt Ellie.

I asked her if she was sad because we said goodbye to them and she nodded. I told her that it was OK to be sad. It was OK to cry. At this point she burst into tears and had her fingers in her mouth trying to hold back her sobs. I gave her a Chic Fil A napkin and she wiped away her tears and continued to cry for a few minutes and eventually pulled herself together.

I told her, "Mommy knows exactly how you feel."

10 Years

2009-06-16T00:24:00.003-05:00

Some of you knew him, some of you have heard of him, all of you would have loved him.

Last night as I crawled into bed, I remembered where I was ten years ago. I texted two of my brothers and said, "I wish is was 1998." I can do math, that was 11 years ago. That was when my other brother Jay was here.

Ten years ago today we gave Jay back to his Creator. Many of you know the story well.

I will tell you that there has been a looming gloom in my soul but also, a greater joy knowing I will greet him and our Savior one day.

In the car on Saturday our three year old asked me to keep telling her about her Uncle Jay. (Its painful to write that, I don't think I have ever seen it written. He is very much her Uncle and probably would have been my children's biggest fan.) It has been fun to recount my steps with him to her. All day today I could hear his struggling voice speaking out of the sides of his mouth as if to tell a secret or a joke!

I think of him everyday. There will always be a hole in my heart, someone missing, someone who can never be replaced. This hole is usually bound up but when the wind blows hard enough I can feel literal pain and I feel riped open.

Ten years goes by fast, time heals, memories come and go, dreams are precious. Sometimes I think I can smell him or hear him. This year has been more memorable though, because now I have children who want and need to know their Uncle Jay. I am loving remembering him!

Psalm 147:3

"He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds."

I am thankful to have a Lord who heals and binds me. I hope you know the comfort of letting the Heavenly Father bind you up!

Running out of Gas in Belle Meade...with a Uhaul

2009-06-11T11:59:00.004-05:00

Thought you all would like to have a visual of a typical Richardson day lately.

On Tuesday we left Marietta, Georgia with a Uhaul. Loaded down with more stuff...it keeps following us around. Nathan has unloaded and loaded the car 7 times in 8 days and now we have a Uhaul going to pick up the last load in Franklin to haul to Memphis. We both are so weary of taking trips back and forth that the Uhaul would get it all.

We stop in Franklin to load up with only a few errands before continuing on to Memphis for the final stop. We decide to hit up Chick fil A, our only fast food stop due to gluten allergies. Nathan tells me to look up Chick Fil A on my phone and I hardly ever do it correctly the first time...that is a whole different story.

We get off on the Bellvue exit following the directions to Chick Fil A. We cannot find it and end up in Belle Meade and right as we are crossing in front of the Belle Meade Mansion the Envoy begins to tucker out on us. There is no where to pull over and remember we have a Uhaul and the power steering goes out.

Those of you who know me well know that when I get nervous I giggle. I have a hard time controlling the giggling and especially the more frustrated Nathan gets, the more I giggle and the more I giggle, the more frustrated Nathan becomes. We begin coastin down a hill with an up hill just in front of us. There is multiple comments from the back seat peanut gallerey, quickly hushed not by thier giggling mother! We manage to restart the car again hoping to make it just a bit further. I spot a Shell station in the distance. We tuckered out again. Nathan put it in park and got out of the car with about 20 cars behind us, he does not utter a word as he gets out of the car and begins a jog to the shell station.

I just giggled straight ahead as cars angrily wiggled around us. Nathan made it back with a gas can and humbly stood out in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the South filling up our car, clearly out of place!

We made it back to the interstate and hour and half later, no Chick Fil A but with a full tank of gas, a funny story, at least to me (maybe Nathan will laugh about it soon,) and another chapter to the story that leaves us one day closer to Panama! We did find out that the Chick Fil A was in the mall that is now closed down! At least we are preparing for Panama and no Chick Fil A!

Sold (part 2)

2009-06-08T19:24:00.003-05:00

We posted a blog about two months ago announcing the joy of our house selling. What we have come to find out is that "offers" and "signing on the dotted line" are two different things. The dotted line has been signed and it was a huge effort put forth by many!

For those of you who do not know the details of how we got from the offer to the dotted line I will tell you that it has been one of the most agonizing situations we have been through as a couple. Nothing tries your marriage and your flesh like selling a house!

When we moved into the house ten months ago I never felt a peace about it being mine. Every trip down the street home and everytime I looked up at my trey ceiling and wiped down the granite countertops I would ask the Lord, "please don't take this house away from me; I love it." Everytime that I asked, I heard the reply, "I am going to take this house from you Clare." Well, the house is no longing in our name and not only did the Lord take it from me, He made (I say made like a 2 year old dragging her heels in defiance,) he made me GIVE it away.

Most of you reply when I tell of our home selling, "That is AWESOME!" I am continueing to remind myself of the miracle in selling it, not in the amount sold.

Other than the prayers of so many of you and the helping hands of some as well...thank you Thomas and Paige especially.....the only peace I have found is in my Jesus.

I had three hours in the car by myself last week and put in an old mix of music I found in our "moving." (I also found Whitney Houstons Dance Mix, I am saving that one for another solo trip, Nathan can't take it, it is right on up there with Celine Dion's Power of Love for him!) On this cd was a some old hymns that were honey to my soul. Some of you know them, but the one that I keep humming is "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." It has given me such joy and such deep peace knowing who my Friend is and I want to share it with you.

"What A Friend We Have In Jesus"

"What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privelege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All bc we do not carry everything to God in prayer."

"Have we trials and temptaions? Is there trouble any where?
We should never be discouraged, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness, take it to the Lord in prayer."

"Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our Refuge-Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee, thou wild find a solace there."

My solace is in the Lord. As much as I hate to admit it, I love my things. The things being my house, my things in my house, my places I like to shop, the places I like to eat. All these things are sold or in my friends houses (beautifully displayed I might add) some things stored away, all these places will change, but what will not change is the Friend I have in Jesus.

Also, on a very important side note, many of you have asked how you may support us and why you have not recieved a letter....well, we have been one step behind ourselves and will hopefully get them out in the next two weeks so you may have more specifics about what we are doing, how we are going to do it and anything else! We are making our way to Panama...ONE STEP AT A TIME!

Praise God for His Faithfulness!

Rejoice

2009-05-29T22:53:00.002-05:00

It has been a crazy couple weeks as we have exploded our house and we have packed up everything to get out of our house. It has been quite stressful to us, and unfortunatly when you don't have anything to direct that towards, I seem to take it out on my most loved ones. Not exactly my finest moments, but there is comfort in that we do know it is the stress and tiredness speaking, not our hearts. This is more stressful than I had imagined and we have far to go before we are in Panama and I start at Crossroads, but we need to get this house closing behind us. I need to look at the rays of sunshine during this time.

Clare is awesome at organizing and packing. I have a strong back and truck that works. (You can see who the brain is and who is the brawn.) Ro is aware of everything. Every piece of furniture or toy she asks if we are selling it. She was great with selling toys to other children at the garage sale. She now asks if items are going on the big boat to "hanama." Essie is great with anyone that comes around and is willing to hold her. She is now paci free and is talking up a storm (not always a blessing). Field is the most content baby. He has cut a tooth and working on a second one without hardly a peep. He will also jump for 2 hours in the johnny jump up, having a great time. God has truly blessed me and I can't wait to share them with the people of Panama.

In the midst of two back to back day trips with a uhaul trailer, I was blessed with some time to listen to some podcasts of Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He was preaching on 1st Peter and talking on how we all face trials. He was reminding me that trials are different for everyone, and the old addage that of walking in someone else's shoes goes both ways. They are not walking in your shoes either. I know I have found myself in this time, telling myself and others' that atleast I am not losing a child or my marriage. It is just money and a house. We should not blow off our own trials though as that is what God is giving us to sharpen us in that area. In light of eternity it is not a big deal, but it is painful and fills my heart with poison towards mankind. We are told we are going to have trials, not one trial, but many. The good news, that Mark was saying is that it is just life. There are going to be very hard times in life and I know there will be many more to come. But the beautiful thing is that it is just life. Better to have a terrible hard life and a glorious eternity than to have a comfortable 80ish years and be in anguish forever. We need to rejoice in our trials, as we serve a Lord that has conquered death and saved us from an eternity of anguish. I dont want to short change my own trials and what God is carrying me through. It is just money, it is just a house, but that is part of the fallen world we live in. I want to accept how hard it is for me and my family and rejoice that I have a Father I can lean on in these times and praise forever.

Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; And let them say among the nations, "The Lord reigns." 1 Chronicles 16:31

Be Still My Soul

2009-05-17T10:34:00.007-05:00

It is always amazing to me how a song at church can be perfect for where you are in life right now as if they asked you what was stirring in your heart during the past week. We sang this at church last night right after I worked on the last post. It reminds me of the need for corporate worship and fellowship with other believers. This song was written for us this week a few hundred years ago.

"Be Still, My Soul"
by Catharina von Schlegel, 1697-?
Translated by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Worldly Possesions, Eartly Treasures

2009-05-16T15:45:00.004-05:00

The past week has been full of trials, and feeling more attacked by Satan as we proclaim God and what he is doing. We have confidence in the fact that everything is in God's control, but there were definetly angry moments of asking God "why is it happening like this?" I believe that God is trying to prove over and over to us to lean on him. I find myself thinking I have everything figured out in my head and he is wanting to prove that he is guiding us and that we are going to have to completely rely on Him. One day I may learn to fully lean on Him.

We had our garage sale this weekend and it was such a blessing to "thin the herd" of our possessions. It was great to know that we made people's day by giving them great deals on great stuff. Clare was practically giving things away to any hispanic family that came. She has a great soft spot for hispanic people (Good thing we are heading to Panama). Materiallistically I am ready to go, ready to get started in Panama, even though there is plenty left to do.

Relationally, I am not close to being ready. We are in a great place surrounded by great friends and a family that loves us and our kids very well. I have found myself wondering "Why am I taking my kids away from this?" It is very hard to answer at times as I feel like I am sacrificing my kids. Ro thanks God for her cousins every times she prays. Thomas and Paige get to drop by regularly. We get regular visits from both sets of grandparents. Ro won

t let me sing in the car becuse she needs to practice so she can grow up and "sing with Drew and Ellie" We got to go last night to see Drew and Ellie play probably for the last time before we go. They were sweet to dedicate a song to us that they had written for our kids "Live Forever" I could not catch my breath or swallow for half the song. It hit me, that as much as we are loved by our earthly family and friends, it does not come close to the love that our Father has for us. It's His love that I hope is shown to our kids and to us more and more through going on the mission field. That is when I come to the realization that is what I am blessing my kids with. I am praying that they can learn to shower strangers with the love that is lavished on them. We know that God is wanting us in Panama and we are excited to love people there, but we love those we are leaving here more than we can communicate.

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. Psalm 63:3

Change

2009-05-05T12:45:00.002-05:00

We obviously have lots of change going on in our lives and we will keep you updated as we know what those changes are. Here are our new emails.

Clare: clarehrichardson@gmail.com

simplanize@gmail.com

Nathan: nathan.richardson@yahoo.com

Family: thenathanrichardsons@gmail.com

Praise be to God for His Faithfulness!

Sold

2009-05-01T12:23:00.000-05:00

Five weeks, one looker, followed by one offer, a few counters and 8092 Canonbury is sold!

Total confirmation that we are on the right course. I prayed specifically for just one person and just thanked the Lord for how he was going to surprise us and that is what we got!

We have until June 1st to pack up life here in Nolensville, TN. Bittersweet.

This is going be our third move in just over a year. Good thing I am a Professional Organizer and this is what I do! I don't usually have three children at my feet, an added challenge!

Praise to God for His Faithfulness!

"Hanama" Shocks and Thrills

2009-04-27T12:12:00.001-05:00

According to our three year old, Ro, “We are moving to Hanama!” I hope she is not disappointed when Hannah Montana does not live in Panama! She and her sister have yet to see their future home.

Nathan and I shipped ourselves and Field as well to Panama last week to have a “come and see” before any of us made it official. We came, we saw and we are official.

I cannot describe what I thought Panama would be like. I had painted somewhat of a picture in my mind of what it would be, what Nathan would be doing and myself in supporting roles, where we would be living and the people and children we would be loving. My picture was a little off.

It would be safe to say that I was shocked and thrilled all in the same breath.

My first shock was in the moment the airplane shut off the air conditioning upon arrival. No need to carry a light sweater anywhere in Panama. Most people even keep their thermostats at 78 and that may be a little generous. It is HOT!

I am a little bit of a rule abider, so the second shock will be a big adjustment for me. Imagine the worst road rage ever and you might be getting close to the intensity of the traffic throughout Panama City and into the Canal Zone, better known as the Reverted Area after the US gave the Canal back to Panama in 1999. We will be living in this area; the school and church community are throughout this area as well.

My next shock was a greeting by an armed guard outside the school where Nathan will be teaching. The guard was primary to the also barbed wire atop the magnet gate and fencing around the school and church. There was a gang shooting behind the school in a large cemetery only two weeks ago.

Also a shock was imagining all the patience the Lord will be teaching Nathan as he teaches PE and coaches on a blacktop parking lot. Thankfully the area was recently covered with a tall Pavilion roof. There is a grassy area mixed with a little gravel where PE will also take place.

Sticker shock was followed by a bit of relief after a visit to the grocery store. Everything is double what we pay in the US. A little cup of Yoplait yogurt was $1.20 and a head of lettuce was over $2 and we are not talking about “organic” lettuce either. The relief came when I realized that I will not be cutting coupons and matching store specials, or feeling guilty because I should be. There are no coupons to be had as well as no store specials, it is what it is!

I thrive on organization or maybe it’s the lack of organization I thrive on. I have this incredible need to want to restructure and reorganize unless there is no organization at all and I am deeply needed. I am needed. I am only saying this to give you a picture of the Panamanian culture. Rules and laws are only suggestions. Beginning and end times to events and meetings are just an aiming point. I am not shocked by disorganization anymore!

I am sure that I am leaving out some other shocks and I am sure I will discover more, but the thrills are far more impactful than any shock I experienced.

I was thrilled when I first saw the faces of the children that attend Crossroads Academy. Their faces are all so very different, they were from a little bit of everywhere and were all speaking differently than us. They did not seem to care that they looked differently from the other. While I am sure they let their flesh get the best of them sometimes, they did not look like kids who thought life owed them something. There was no sense of entitlement that so many kids posses. Lots of these kids are third culture kids.

The Crossroads community of teachers and parents as well as the church seems to know that there is a greater goal than just learning, it is about making an impact on these kids, opening their minds up to the world and/or to just around the corner where there are so many needs within the larger community of Panama City. I am thrilled that these kids are loved and I am thrilled we get to love them too.

When a wife sees her husband get fired up, falling in love with the Lord and his people, how can she not be thrilled? According to John Eldridge's book, “Wild at Heart” a man needs a “battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” I am Nathan’s beauty and I always need rescuing, so he had that for sure, the other two needs existed in some form, a very dormant form. I have seen my husband come alive. It’s like he has shed his skin and becoming who the Lord intended for him to be. This will be an adventure, taking a whole family to a foreign country; most of you would say he is crazy. Finally, Nathan will have a battle to fight, a mission. Crossroads has a PE program and it does have some sports teams, but there is only room for improvement. It is going to be a challenge for many reasons we can share later, some were “shocks!” My man is Wild at Heart and I will gladly follow him because I know he is becoming the man God intends for him to be. THAT is thrilling!

We will have a back yard. The first house be bought in Franklin, TN had the most beautiful backyard with common space behind where the sun set behind the trees while we enjoyed our deck. I always thought, “It just doesn’t get any better than this.” In our current home that is on the market…it has the same beautiful backyard with common space behind and over to the east you can see the rolling hills of Middle Tennessee, and the sun sets behind the trees in exactly the same spot it did from our first deck. Again when we began processing what we felt the Lord was stirring in our hearts, I just knew we would be stuck in an apartment without a place to play. I was thrillingly surprised to see a huge backyard behind our quad-plex apartment. We even have a backdoor to a small patio. There is also a huge luscious hill behind our yard. Why do I doubt?

Five dollar manicures….a cheap thrill!!

When I was a senior in high school we had a newspaper edition that made jokes about where all of the seniors would be in ten years. Mine was that I would be Young Life leader and a PE teacher. Well I married the PE teacher and we are very involved in the lives of young people. I am thrilled to have an opportunity to maybe lead a small group Bible study for girls. And I hopefully will get to coach some of the girls’ soccer teams and anyone who knows me well knows that would be a huge thrill for me. I love soccer, I love being with young girls, I love to lead. I just need to have a healthy back.

The church is much smaller than the Fellowship Bible Church were we have attended for the last six years in Brentwood, TN. The praise and worship time is one of my favorite times of the week and I was thinking I would be sad to miss out on the wonderful worship we have had. I was so surprised, and thrilled, when we began the worship at Crossroads Bible Church. It was beautiful, it was loud, it was glorifying to the Lord and I worshipped to the same great savior that I worshipped with in TN!

Not everyone would be overly thrilled about packing their children up from the only life they knew, especially when it was a good life of friends, family, a school they love and a home where they are secure and thriving. What if we were doing this for our children? Yes we are ripping them from all they know, but we are providing them with so much more. They will make new friends, they will still have cousins and aunts and uncles, they will one day be a part of the school they will love and home is where we are, secure and thriving. What they do not have and what they will get in Panama is a love for people who look differently, speak differently and live differently than them. They will become a part of a culture different than their own and learn to speak a language different than their own and experience a life they would have otherwise never known existed. I am thrilled over this!

Nathan knows education and Nathan knows construction and Nathan knows sports. He loves all these things too. I am thrilled that Nathan can use all the things he knows and all the things he loves and can use them for the greater good of the Lord’s kingdom. There is a mission project within the mission project that we are going to Panama for, it is called Curundu. It is the slums of Panama City. A slum like you would never see in any North American City. Crossroads Bible Church has a building they are converting into a safe place for the people of this part of the city. I place for them to learn, a place for them to worship, a place to play and this place has come a long way and this place has still a lot of work to be done. Nathan is one of few who has a construction background and will be able to contribute to this project. I can’t wait to tell you more about this thrilling project as we learn more.

There is nothing more fun than feeling wanted. We all want to feel it in some capacity most of the time. There are different kinds of this kind of security. I am wanted and needed by my children, by my husband, by my family and friends. But most importantly, I am wanted by my Lord and Savior. He wants me to know him in the most deep and intimate ways. He wants me to trust him with the small and with the most expansive things I can imagine.

In the process of getting us to Panama, I was in Field’s nursery and read the verse Proverbs 16:9, “In a man’s heart he plans his course, but it is the Lord who determines his steps.” This has proven to be so true in our plan of course. I prefer his steps even when I don’t understand and don’t see how it is on the same course. I know He will get us to where He wants us. I can live with that!

So many of you reading this we will be leaving behind, some of you we will be joining in Panama but hopefully all of you will be coming along side us. There are mountains to move and valley’s to trudge none of which is possible first without obedience to the Lord as we move and trudge.

We look forward to sharing with you these mountains that need to be moved and these valleys we will need to trudge. More importantly we look forward to sharing with you how these mountains are moved and how we have trudged and what we have learned from our Lord and Savior. Our blessings are great indeed! Praise to God for His Faithfulness!

History (Nathan's Viewpoint)

2009-04-06T00:36:00.008-05:00

Don't really know where to start in telling this story of how we ended up looking to move to Panama. There is really no way to share all of our thoughts and the events that brought us to where we are. We can look back to those discussions we had as an engaged couple, planning our life. With myself, being an education major, Clare had introduced me to the organization of Network of International Christian Schools (NICS). Of course being a young man and always seeking adventure the idea of teaching on foreign lands and travel appealed to me. Best of both worlds, right? We considered doing it when we were first married, but we were given the advice that there is enough newness and stress to a new marriage to throw a new culture, and no familiarity on top of it. We followed that advice and revisited a few years later, but decided that it was not the time either. Teaching overseas would come up in conversation from time to time and we knew it was something that we would do, it was just a matter of when. I had decided (in my infinite wisdom) that we would do it before our oldest, Ro, began high school and got too busy with important things in life like sports and friends. Soon after Christmas, Clare and I had a chance to catch our breath and share with each other what we both had been feeling separately. That now was the time to look into going overseas for a season. We ran through a list of concerns and drawbacks as well as the positives. We began looking into international schools and what openings were available. We started with the NICS program based out Southaven, MS. We filled out their application and signed up for their job fair. In the meantime I came across a great website, Missionteach.com. It had listings from christian schools all over the world. Some independent and some networked including the NICS openings. That is where I came across a school in Panama, Crossroads Christian Academy. I worked on the application and began speaking with CCA as well as other international schools. We began sharing our thoughts with a few people, who were both surprised and encouraging. In mid-February we attended the NICS job fair and yearly reports. It was an opportunity to hear what the Lord is doing in their schools around the world. We were blown away and we had a great time talking with families that had been living what we had been praying about. We walked away without any doubt that this is what we are being called to do. We talked to many schools around the world, but we felt like the best fit was CCA in Panama. It is for a position as the middle school and high school PE teacher and Athletic Director. They want Clare and I to come down and check out the school, church, and community and make sure that it is a good fit for us. So off we go on April 14th to visit. Field is going to join Clare and I on our visit while the girls stay with Bam-ma and Papa.