Needy

The past few weeks have brought about much heartache to people that we love. It is hard to be here in Panama, while there are troubles at "home." We wish that we could be there to "fix" things and be helpful. You feel so out of the loop and "of no use" being away. It is hard to comfort people through Skype. Recently loved ones here in Panama suffered heartache as well. It was just as painful even as we are here with them. It is a painful reminder for me of our need for a Savior. I feel like I should be able to fix things. It is the same part in me that believes I should be able to earn my salvation. Surely I can do better than most and look at all the good things that I do. As Paul says it is all rubbish. I need more than what I can do. I need Jesus, and I am thankful for daily reminders of that, even as it is humbling and goes against our culture. We can't fix things and we can't bring the comfort that only comes with the hope of eternity! In the men's bible study that I have been able to participate in, we have been studying Phillipians. We were examining what stirs us and fires us up for Jesus? Think about that, and why we don't spend more time pursuing those things that make us want to pursue our Lord more. For me, I really enjoy being challenged by great preaching. I also enjoy great discussion about life and challenges in our faith (preferably over food!) I also love loud passionate corporate worship, especially with drums as that is how I imagine heaven. What is it for you? We live a lot of lives with fears of what will happen with our future. We fear something happening to our spouse or our children. We fear the loss of loved ones and dreams and expectations that we put on ourselves not being met. Sometimes it is just the pain of a living in difficult times. It is heartbreaking to see people experiencing our own fears. I am thankful that these pains and turmoils are temporary and that we do have Hope in eternity. Thank you that you give us glimpses of heaven here, and I will choose to be thankful even in the pain that we have here. I pray that the God will continue to give me greater compassion for those that are troubled, and to give me wisdom in how to act. I also pray that I continue to find my hope in Jesus and the grace and mercy he has shown me, and not rely on my own actions. I need Jesus, and I realize that more and more everyday.