Email Received

Below is a note, that I received last spring that I wanted to share. It was a huge encouragement to me in that the community is taking note of the difference in our students. That is a huge mission field for us as a school and a prayer of mine, that the community sees a difference in us in how we handle ourselves. If it is not noticeable than we are no different and we lose our testimony. It is our chance to witness to other schools and the community in Panama. This is also why I am so thankful for coaches that love on our players and speak into their lives.

Nathan,

I'm writing in great appreciation of the work I see you doing with the sports program at CCA. I've worked and coached at ISP for two years now and whether you remember me or not is not important. I leave Panama for good in three weeks and I felt I needed to write in applause of a program that I think is being run the right way. I fully applaud you, your staff, and your kids in the collective approach that CCA makes in sports.

Our JV team played your JV team this past Monday. I'm embarrassed to say that we won something like 9-1. If anything, I'd like to apologize. But what I did say to my kids at halftime was to take a look around. I wanted them to take note of our opposition. Your kids weren't complaining, asking to give-up, imploding, losing their cool, or otherwise embarrassing themselves on the pitch. I don't know that my team reacts in the same professional manner when the shoe is on the other foot. Luckily, this "learning moment" allowed a number of my kids, not all, to learn something about sportsmanship. It's one step at a time, and this definitely helped me teach something valuable.

I hope for this letter to validate the work of you and your kids. Sports, particularly youth sports, are meant to teach ethics, teamwork, camaraderie, and fair play. Winning gives us a reason to play. Unfortunately the winning is all too often what sports are about, here in Panama, in the US, and around the globe. I'm impressed to say that your program, at least in my humble assessment, values all that which are important. Your kids are headed for a bright future with the lessons you've taught.

Start of Year!

Well, we have gotten going again here down @ CCA! We are 2 half days into the year and it was great to see students again! It was even greater seeing both my girls with me at school! I cant describe how fun it is to se them at different times as they are out on the playground and they give me this little wave. Essie has been so excited about going to school, I can't wait to watch her bloom this year. Ro is getting right back in the swing of things and is a joy for her teachers. Both of them were so excited about the second day that they woke up at 5:45 and got themselves dressed including shoes and finished packing their lunches. All Clare and I had to do was breakfast and hair. We can dream that continues! Field continues to be a blast and makes us laugh constantly! Every day he wants to "Go Play Soccer!"

Basketball season starts up next week! As always things roll a little slow down here in Panama. I am waiting to hear from a few courts about us being able to rent. I am also still recruiting coaches to work with our teams. Thankfully the older teams are set, but still need some coaches for the younger teams. Please pray that the right people will be able to work with our kids and have a great season of loving and coaching these kids.

I am very excited about starting a men's bible study this fall. There has not been anything in this community for men. I have gotten great response from a number of guys. We are going to use the video series by Matt Chandler on Phillipians. I hope it will be a great time of fellowship and sharpening. I pray that we bond as a group of men that love the lord and want to lead this community well.

I was able to lead devotions for the staff the other morning and I shared from Phillipians as I have been reading it in preparation of the bible study. I was sharing how we as a staff needed to come together as a team and accept the different gifts and abilities that each other have. It is important to encourage each other in our strengths as that is the way God designed us. I find myself too many times wanting people to think, respond, and communicate the way that I believe they should. I need to remember to celebrate the individual that God is using for his purpose to His glory. Phillipians 2:3-11 gave me a big lesson on how to interact with others and a great example in our Saviour.

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. have this mind among yourselves , which is yours in Christ Jesus who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient tot he point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

A Slice or a Punch

Hello Blog Friends!

It is safe to say that I have not kept up with blogging this semester! Nathan and I wish very much to do so, but it has proven very difficult. I do have something I wanted to share with you. I wrote this letter to my family last week and wanted to share it with you too! For those of you who do not know, I lost my handicapped brother Jay almost 12 years ago. I was 18 and he was days from his 14th bday and this is a vision I had of him and of the Lord last week. It was such a sweet gift to me, the vision and the gift of the Holy Spirit!

I love you all and PROMISE there are blogs to come!!

"Thoughts, Visions and Dreams...

Up on my desk I have a picture of Jay. The one where he is grinning from ear to ear, the smile that was kinda forced yet the only way he really smiled. It is perfect in every way. It is not the one with the blue shirt on (which I had on my mirror for years and it disappeared. Somebody needs to fess up,) but the one with the white shirt with the huge round glasses!

I love gazing on it and even as it has been almost 12 years since Jay was a part of our daily interaction I think that it is safe to say that he is still a part of some slice of my day. Maybe its a handicapped parking spot, or somebody giving me a thumbs up, or the random waif of dried slobber from his thumbs, or kissing my kids after they are asleep and seeing one snagging a corner of their siblings pillow with their head just as Jay always did, sometimes its finding a random white sock that looked like Jay's little socks (some I have may have been his,) or a penny laying on the ground and I need to pick it up just because, maybe its the sound of bball in the background or just a glance at the few momentous I have around.

Some days the memories are a lot bigger than slices they are punches to the gut or a pie to the face, the ones where you loose your train of thought and get an immediate swell in your throat feeling like you are going to chock and if no one is around you can loose it or if others are you hold back because it is just not the time to go there, they wouldn't know how to respond and quite frankly it wouldn't have the affect you wanted...how could they know, it would be unfair to dump that one out into the thin air! Sometimes I don't have the emotional energy to go there. Its just to hard...yet it is always so sweet.

So tonight was one of those nights, THE PUNCH. This is not something you plan for, it just happens and I just had to tell yall about it...too sweet to keep to myself.

We are doing a study with our small group by Mark Virkler, How to hear God's Voice. It is way different than anything I have ever studied and honestly blown my mind and my heart way off this planet. Some of it can be a little hard to understand, but I have tracked with it...mostly. The Bible is full of verses about the Holy Spirit, verses I some how seemed to skip over or not really notice until this past year, maybe year and half. The Lord has taught me so much about himself and about who I am in Him and Him in me, some things I have known, some maybe not, but mostly things I have known but not really FELT. I think it safe to announce that I am not much of a "feeler." I think I am but due to maybe my birth order and the circumstances that surrounded our lives as we knew them I became a "stuffer," into a rather large container bc it rarely filled over or poured out. That is all another story that I look forward to sharing with yall some day, in light of all the Lord has been revealing to me and speaking to me.

So back to the study. We quiet ourselves before the Lord. Focus on Him. Tune to flow (words from the Lord, pictures in our heads, etc). Journal. That is the sequence of what we are learning and I was blown away by the fact that I have always had the Lord speaking to me I just rarely recognized it for that. The visions and dreams as well. I just wasn't focusing on Him and then seeing all that he had to tell me, show me, love me, etc. This has come quite easily for me and is an amazing tool I am looking forward to learning and knowing at 30!

Tonight we watched the video about Visions and Dreams. (Before we started the video we sang a song about the Resurrection and one of the lines I wrote down in my journal.) He talked and read from Daniel. He facilitated a time to focus on the Lord and to see what the Lord had to say or show us. Part of his facilitating was describing a place around the Sea of Galilee. He explained a place I was already picturing, I love it when that happens. Then he began to describe a scene from the Bible about feeding of the thousands and then the healing of a paralyzed man.

Immediately the gut punch came and I wanted the vision to stop. Not really wanting to go there in front of all the small group. But I felt the Lord prompting me to keep looking. I did and as he began to speak I could see these knobby bony knees of a 14 year old little boy burst forth, like an egg shell blowing itself out or a butterfly coming out of a shell at a rapid rate, and out came these muscular running type thighs, tan I might add, not too hairy in case you were wondering. It all happened so fast. The boys arms just pushed up from his wheelchair and it all just happened. And then I realized it was Jay.

Rewind to the lady who did the painting of Jay for the YL Urban Center and we all voted to have the picture of him done with him in his wheelchair not standing. Don't think I, maybe we, were ready to visualize OUR Jay any different that how we knew and loved him. Any dream I have had of Jay has been chest up or with him on my back since his death until tonight.

I stayed with the vision from the screen rolling in my head and it continued on a grassy knoll with Jesus and me and Jay sitting beside Jesus, but from where I was he was behind Jesus. This is were I opened my Journal and began to journal what the Lord was saying to me.

At the top of my page was "I STAND IN HIM COMPLETE." I had written it before any of this even started tonight. Yet it was totally planned. It was centered and in all caps too.

It was at this point that I realized that I had not let myself imagine Jay physically any different than how I had known him, I was limiting all that God could make straight. It couldn't have been a sweeter moment to see my brother as HE IS, COMPLETE. It was only in my mind's eye, but the question I was asking the Lord before any of this began was, "Lord, how do you want me to use eyes of my heart?" Anything I was imagining before was from the eye of my mind, but not of my heart. I could not have imagined this without the Holy Spirit.

By showing me Jay's completeness the Lord wanted to show me my own, what He has done for me, what He can continue to do. He wants to commune with me on the kind of level and wholeness that He does with Jay and Granny and Grand Chubby. Jay was just sitting behind Him looking at me like, "I have been waiting for you to figure this out. It is that simple." He had a gentle smirk on his face as he listened to what Jesus was telling me. This kind of wholeness only comes from knowing Jesus, looking at Him, asking Him, letting Him make me FULL and just desiring and being in His presence.

Other random details in case you wanted to know: he had the build of a runner, not a skinny runner, but a muscular one, he was around 25-26, a man indeed, Sam, you are a bit taller, but your butt is still bigger! He had a head full of thick brown hair, not curly, but fluffy. He looked just like how I would imagine him, good looking (like his brothers and dad,) genuine, full of happiness, totally content yet eager. He had on a blue t-shirt (not collared) and khakis! (He must of put some pants on after busting out of his old legs!)

Too amazing not to share with yall and sooo easy to see. Such a blessing to have FULL access to the Holy Spirit. It is our gift from the Lord, a promise of what we have to look forward to for all of eternity with Him, and with all those who have gone before us and who are STANDING IN HIM COMPLETE!

Love each of you more than I could ever express!! Praying that the Lord is speaking to each of you and that you are in a place where you are focusing and listening to all that He has to tell you. Just ask, Just look, He is certainly there!

My new favorite song is by Brett Dennon, Dancing at a Funeral. "Now is not the time to be so sad and mournful.We are going to this funeral and we'll be dancing the night away. So don't be so shy, we are living and we are dying, we are laughing and we're crying, every single day..." Looking forward to all dancing (standing) complete in who we are....ONE DAY!

LOVE,

Clare....hope you are not gut punched...maybe just a slice to add to your JAY DAY!"

A Few Pictures from the last couple of weeks!

We have had a crazy Fall...I am sure everyone has had equally crazy lives. Why do we ever think that it will be any different just because a season changes?

(The season doesn't actually change here, but we do like to put out a little orange, ok we have orange year round bc it is to me what red is to some of you, I like punches of it around my house! So we already have the orange going, but we have some fall smelling candles and were able to get our hands on a pumpkin too! So the weather may not be changing cooler (rainy to rainier and hot to hotter) but none the less it is Fall to us!)

We are working on our newsletter, soon to be ready to print and mail. It will give lots more info that we have failed to share with you and hopefully you will see how are roles here change back and forth lots leaving us little time in between!

Here are a few pictures from the last couple of weeks around here!

The 3 Amigos, as we call them, ready for Sunday afternoon community basketball pick up games with Daddy!

Some of the JV girls playing a little defense!

Silly picture with JV and Varsity girls!

More of my favorite people...Field saying "cheeeeeeese!"

These little guys frequent our backyard, "gato solos" (lone cat) they too have discovered the garbage cans and are taking advantage of the lack of garbage pick-up around here. They come in a family pack of about 12, some babies to. I am happy to watch them from the indoors!

Basketball Banquet getting started. It was the first annual BBall Banquet. Nathan and I were a great team putting it on with the help of lots of others making it happen. It was a great night!

The BBall Girls and Coaches all dressed up!

Sub 16 Boys Team. They have been busy playing in the National Tournament this week! Nathan is a game day coach for these guys!

Circled up at Nathan's request for Family Blessing before we devoured some amazing food!

The table Decorations!

Nathan does not thing this I should document that I made him wear a 25 year old sailor suit that was entirely to short for him. I thought he looked adorable, a little short, but adorable.

He wore it to church and got plenty of comments about him looking like a wrestler!

Field again being a mess. He loves a steering wheel. Makes us super nervous considering our van is a stick and he could kick the emergency brake easily!

One more to document a day in the life of Field Richardson.

We are grateful for all of you as you are each a blessing in our lives. Praying for all of us to see the blessings we each have even in the midst of our craziness!!!

Much Love,

Clare

Home Again, Home Again.....

I wish I was better and more prompt with this blog, with our newsletter, with thank you notes, with emails! There are so many differnt ways to communicate it is mind blowing!

We are back to Panama! Feels like home here. We were sad to say goodbye to friends and family but so grateful it was a rich summer full of seeing and catching up with so many people we love and love us!

We came home to quite the chaos. Our hot water heater busted and flooded our storage/laundry room, living and dining room 2 days before got home.

Thankfully nothing was ruined and it was soaked up before we walked in.

The blessing is we now have a gas heater which is installed outside and gives me more storage space! The frustrating part is we went almost a week wo hot water and we are still figuring out how it works and I am going to have get the floor fixed...the hole dates back to atleast 4 floors ago!

Our internet was blown out while we were in the states and we have been here 2 weeks without internet. We CANNOT get them to come out here, we have exhausted all options except stalking and dangleing money in front of the Cable and Wireless men, oh wait...I have done that all week and still CANNOT get them here! I am actually updating the blog from a phone! So excuse any of my grammer and spelling mistakes!

Our van was rented out this summer to a few missions groups and let's just say it was returned to us in less than steller shape which was super discouraging. The van belongs to the Lord, but we still want to be a good stewads of what we have and want others to do so as well! It continues to bless us and others as we have been loading in teachers since we made it home! I admit I enjoy driving a stick shift and a tanker van!

The new teachers and director for CCA are awesome! We have had a great start to the school year!

Friday nite we had a building dinner. Our building, full of teachers, came and grilled out at our place and stayed up late ringing in the "school" year!

Ro started school this week too. She is in K4! She was more than adorable on her first day. She had a sheepish grin on her face, half nervous but mostly eager! I asked her how was her first day of school...ever....and she replied, "fine!" I thoguht that started in middle school, not K4, I should have a few more details than this! I finally got some out of her and heard some from the teachers (the elementary PE coach said she was the leader in her class...yeah!)

Basketball season is upon us! Nathan is busy coordinating coaches, reserving gyms around the area and recruiting kiddos to play! We are really excited about the athletic program this year especially knowing a little more what to expect from kids, parents and the community!

I am going to be coaching the sub 18 and sub 15 girls. They have all been asking and making sure I was still gonna coach!

God has been good to us! We are full of blessings and full of gratitude! Essie and I are learning some verses since she has been paling around with me this week! She was repeating Psalm 103 w me and she could not have been more filled with the Spirit! She was raising her arms and raising her voice and uplifting my heart!

"Bless the LORD!!!"
Oooohhh My Soooouuulll!"
And let ALLLL that is within MEEE, BLESS His Holy NAAAMMME!"

(She kept going about 15 times through the verse!)

What a great verse for all of us who are in the throws of life, that we would bless the Lord with ALL that is within us. Psalm 103 is a precious Psalm reminding me of the satifaction that comes from being a child of the most High King, the Healer, the Reedemer, the Forgiver...the Renewer of my youth!

I hope you all find the time this week to Bless the Lord! It is so satisfying!

Abounded and Abounding in His Mercy,
Clare (for the crew)

Lady Eagles...#2!

Watching the CCA Boys play!

Cutting practice short to watch the boys play again!

A little half time speech....the refs really only gave me half my time to speak...but that is Panama for you. "Do whatever feels rt!"

The CCA Lady Eagles got 2nd place! The National Stadium was amazing. I have never played on a nicer field or a larger field. My girls played amazing. We dominated the game but could not set-up for goals where as the other team made every goal they set up. There is always next year. The 5-1 final score does not measure how well we played, its not that they played better, they just scored better!!!

I have had to ask for forgiveness to Nathan this year as I have coached Basketball and Soccer this year as I had no idea how important it is to de brief after a game. I never had to do this as a player, but as a coach...you do! All those years Nathan was coaching we would get in the car after a game and I could only handle about 5-10 mins tops of football talk. I wanted him to "Focus on me, Focus on me, Focus on me!!!" (famous quote from a Nancy Holcomb) I was the one sitting in the stands observing...the fans!

It has been a dream come true to coach and play with these girls. There are 17 if them. I am grateful that the Lord has given me a love for soccer and a love for high school girls. I wore my sunglasses after the game was over bc I didn't want them to know that I was just as sad as they were and I wanted to cry that we lost and because some of them would not be around next year. It was an honor to be a part of their lives. Pray that I continue to have opportunities to love, challenge and encourage them! They glorified the Lord through soccer this year and I have been blessed!

Nathan announced to me that despite having 2 girls he does not think he would ever be able to handle coaching the girls! It is not just about the game. It is the color of the jersey, the size of the jersey, the jersey fabric, the matching hair bows, the tapped ankles, the time of day, the potty breaks, what time they get out of class... What sounds like whining to a man is just commenting to a woman! He has been incredibly patient with all the CCA teams and his tolerance level for all of the above may be pushed down enough to start coaching girls when Ro and Essie are in college!!

Sorry for the small pics...

On our way to the National Stadium in the Busito!!

A pre game mini speech while half the team was searching for the bathroom!

Holding the trophy high!

Some of my biggest fans!

Some of my "leprechauns" as they like to call themselves being silly...all the tears had dried!

Missing a few girls!

Futbol and Field

Had the sweetest time rocking my baby tonight. He is such a wild man. He is a bit confused about what language he speaks. We have a precious friend who helps me out during the week. Our life here would be close to impossible without her. She speaks only Spanish. I love seeing my kiddos understand what she is saying. Field just grunts back at us and at her. He completely understands us all...just not sure what he is suppose to say in return.

Anyways, I rocked him tonight and he rubbed my arm and played with my hair and looked me right in the eyes for a few minutes, he gave me kisses. It was so sweet bc he sleeps with his sisters so if you rock one then all 3 wanna rock. They were already asleep!

Nathan's team lost their game today in the semi finals. The other team scored in the last 4 mins of the game. They have had an amazing season. We are super proud of them.

My girls play tomorrow in the big stadium here in Panama. I would be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous! It has been hovering over me all day. The team we play won the major tournament that is made up of all the top Central American teams. Our girls wanted so badly to play in the tournament, but it just wasn't in the budget. So if we win it will be a sweet victory!

Nathan has rented buses for anyone to come and watch the game, K-12! What a brave man...we should have 2 school buses coming!

I have had a blast coaching these girls. I wish I could blog about each one. It has been more than a privedge to develop relationships with them! I will admit that I love getting some playing time myself. You don't know how bad I want to get out on the field myself and play!!

Game is at 1:30...so we will let you know!